The Secret to Transformation Is…

Kent Murawski

We often know what we need to do, so why don’t we do it? That’s one of the great questions of the ages! How do change and transformation actually happen? Let me give you the answer and then unpack it:
 
Change comes through motivation more than information. (1)

Photo by Rémi Walle on Unsplash

We have access to nearly any piece of information we want through the internet and books. If change were simply a function of information, we would be the most transformed generation in history! But information alone doesn’t bring transformation. So, what does? 
 
Transformation happens in the context of relationships and experiences.
 
Let’s talk about relationships first. 

First, you will only get so far in life on your own steam. That’s because you weren’t designed to live a life of isolation: from your Creator and from other people. People of faith believe God is the one who initiates change in the life of a person. And lasting change doesn’t usually happen without cultivating a deep personal relationship with Him.
 
But other human beings have a part to play in the process, too. God may work through another person to initiate change, solidify change, or both! That is why from the very beginning God said, “It is not good for man to be alone…” (Genesis 2:18). And that verse doesn’t apply only to married people. Whether you are married or not makes no difference, and just because you are not married doesn’t mean you are destined for a life of loneliness! We need other people to come alongside us for support, encouragement, and healthy accountability. We have blind spots that we can’t see and ways of thinking and doing things that are keeping us stuck.

Friends and mentors can certainly help us with this, but we also need people with expertise in certain areas like counselors and coaches. When you’re sick, you go to the doctor. In the same way, when you are having a problem in life, feel stuck or unhealthy, or you just can’t figure out what’s going on or how to move forward, you probably need a coach or a counselor. Here are some differentiations that may help:

  • Counseling addresses past hurts and feelings to bring healing
  • Teaching gives acquired knowledge to a pupil
  • Mentoring is giving advice learned through wisdom and experience
  • Coaching brings support, encouragement and healthy accountability so that dreams, goals, and desires can be realized.

Second, transformation comes through experience. If you think about it, I bet you can link a relationship, an experience, or both to your greatest breakthroughs. Here are some examples:

  • Someone did something for you that you couldn’t do for yourself and it changed your life
  • Your perspective changed because of an experience you had
  • A tragedy forever shaped you…for good or for bad
  • You took a trip that opened your eyes to a new part of the world, new people, or a different way of doing things
  • You had an encounter with God that shaped you and changed your trajectory forever
  • There was an interaction with another person that opened your eyes to a new way of looking at things resulting in a paradigm shift
  • You had a transcendent moment in nature where you experienced amazing clarity

So, transformation comes both through experiences and relationships, either separately or together.

What Is My Next Step?

Here’s an important question to ask yourself: How do you need to position yourself for transformation?

An Opportunity for Transformation

If you are a growing leader who knows what they need to do, but you are finding it hard to do on your own, this is for you. If you are not content unless you leave a significant impact in this world, this is for you. Most likely, you have a job or role that requires a high level of performance and responsibility, and you sometimes struggle to find a healthy rhythm between work, family and your personal life. There is a high probability you are married with kids, live in an urban or suburban area, and drive a minivan or SUV. At the end of the day, your desire is not just to lead, but to lead with integrity and character while leaving a legacy for those around you, especially those closest to you. 
 
But if you’re honest, sometimes, you feel like you are failing. The stress is getting to you, you are too busy, out of shape, and you feel like you’re burning the candle at both ends. You may feel lonely and possibly emotionally distant from your spouse. Disconnecting from your work can feel like a real challenge, and often you feel overwhelmed, exhausted and unsure how long you can keep going this way. But you are determined not to be another casualty of leadership – living in compromise, unfaithful to your spouse, divorced, a disappointment to your children, burned out, and addicted. I have good news, 
 
That doesn’t need to be your story. 
 
Healthy rhythms begin with a person who is tired of leading from an empty tank.

What is Rhythms?

Forged in over twenty years of leadership and the nose-to-the-grind culture of Cambridge and Boston, Rhythms is a twelve-week interactive coaching and mastermind experience designed to help you connect with other highly motivated leaders and establish healthy rhythms in four key areas so you can lead with character and integrity for the long haul. Those Rhythms areas are: Spiritual, Relational, Physical, and Emotional. 
 
Get Started >>> (also, check out this video I made about Rhythms)
 
A Case for Coaching
The reason coaching works is because coaches listen deeply, ask great questions and encourage people to find their own solutions (if you are a person of faith, in conjunction with God). The greatest buy-in and motivation happen when we come up with our own solutions. Think about it: do you do something just because someone tells you to? Maybe sometimes, but what happens when you come to a realization or conclusion on your own (not necessarily apart from people but because they ask a good question that causes you to think about something in a new way)? How much more likely is it that you will follow through? Coaches are change experts who walk alongside you to help you unlock your potential and move from where you are to where you want to be. 
 
Rhythms combines teaching, relationships, experience, and coaching to help you move forward. 
 
I also do individual coaching. You can visit my coaching page to find out more.

(1) Leadership Coaching by Tony Stoltzfus

 

 

 

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By Kent Murawski July 28, 2025
When was the last time you ended a summer feeling more energized than when it started? ​​Summer brings changes for many of us—minimizing our motivation to work, disrupting work routines, and altering schedules. With summertime often comes a desire to slow down, and yet, we're not always sure how to do that. This week is my last new post for a little while (though I may resend some popular posts from the 2024-2025 season). I’m pressing pause to create space and pour my energy into finishing my new book. But stay tuned—when I’m back in six weeks, the newsletter will be refreshed with some exciting updates you won’t want to miss! Read to the end to find out more. In this week's edition of Catalyst, I want to share 3 ideas to help you effectively navigate summer. 3 Ways to Master Summer Without Burning Out 1) Stop and Think (Reflect) Socrates famously said, "The unexamined life is not worth living." For Socrates, life was more than pursuing the things that most men occupy themselves with, things like wealth, household affairs, status and position, and political clubs and factions. He believed that life only has value and meaning when we question what we think and know, and by more deeply understanding ourselves and others. The beginning of summer is an ideal time for reflection, and we all tend to occupy ourselves with the things Socrates talked about more than we probably care to admit. Taking a reflection day at the end of each quarter (consider removing "or trimester" for conciseness) can be an effective way to navigate seasonal changes. Finding a place far enough removed from your normal day-to-day life will help you get into a different headspace. A friend of mine often says: Change of pace + change of place = change of perspective. I've used hotels, monasteries, or even a beautiful outdoor location if the weather permits. Here are a few questions you might want to ask: How am I feeling spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically? How are my closest relationships doing? Am I living out my core values? Is my life moving in a direction I feel good about? What do I need to change or adjust? Here are a few ideas for how to conduct a reflection day: Prayer, meditation, or silence Review your biggest wins and assess your goals from the previous quarter Work on high-impact projects that require focus Preview the upcoming quarter and set your Big 3 goals: personal, marriage/family, work/business 2) Cut the Non-Essentials (Reevaluate) Both my wife and I work, so when summer arrives, we need to re-evaluate our schedules to accommodate our twelve-year-old son. In the past, I've made the mistake of trying to keep the same workload despite being home with him two days a week. I ended up frustrated all summer long, living in the tension of wanting to spend more time with him while trying to carry the same workload. Summer requires me to pare down my work roles to the essentials: Writing (currently working on a new book) Executive coaching (6-8 coaching clients) Relationship building and outreach Necessary administration (keeping this to 30% or less of my responsibilities) Moving forward, I will probably keep things this way. It feels more sustainable than the unrealistic expectations I previously held myself to. Once you define your key roles and responsibilities, the question becomes how to achieve better work-life integration not work-life balance. I use the Big 3 System. Choose only three big things to focus on at one time—quarterly, weekly, and daily. That's right, just three. Those three things are usually a combination of personal, marriage/family, and work. Each quarter, I typically choose 1 personal goal, 1 marriage and family goal, and 1-3 work goals, depending on the quarter. Here are a few questions to consider. If you have a partner, discuss them together: How does your schedule change in the summer? What work-related responsibilities and expectations do you need to adjust? What are 3 things you want to do this summer? What do you NOT want to do? 3) Choose What Matters Most (Rest) Paring down expectations isn't only for work, it applies to rest, too. Because it's summer, there is the temptation to want to fit in everything (—vacation, visit family, trips, fun, etc). In the past, we would try to do so much that by the time fall rolled around, we were exhausted. Last year, out of necessity, we planned a staycation instead of going away. It was one of the best vacations we've had in a long time. And besides, summers in New England are gorgeous! We went to see a movie, ate out, went to Six Flags, had a beach day, and took days in between just to relax. We loved it so much, we're doing a staycation again this year! Write down your list of summer expectations and plans. Now, cross out everything that feels exhausting and unfun. Don't try to fit everything in this summer. Pick a couple of things that feel life-giving and focus on those. Your Move Reflect. Re-evaluate. Rest. Choose one of the three and work on it in the next 24 hours. Plan a day of reflection. Have a conversation with your spouse. Choose how you're going to rest this summer. I don't care which one it is, just take action. Here’s one question to consider: What would you stop doing this summer if no one was watching? Most people think summer is about maximizing experiences and fitting everything in, but the truth is that the most productive leaders use summer to strategically subtract, not add. They understand that rest isn't what you do after the work is done—it's what makes the work sustainable in the first place. You've got this.
By Kent Murawski July 23, 2025
When was the last time you ended a summer feeling more energized than when it started? ​​Summer brings changes for many of us—minimizing our motivation to work, disrupting work routines, and altering schedules. With summertime often comes a desire to slow down, and yet, we're not always sure how to do that. This week is my last new post for a little while (though I may resend some popular posts from the 2024-2025 season). I’m pressing pause to create space and pour my energy into finishing my new book. But stay tuned—when I’m back in six weeks, the newsletter will be refreshed with some exciting updates you won’t want to miss! Read to the end to find out more. In this week's edition of Catalyst, I want to share 3 ideas to help you effectively navigate summer. 3 Ways to Master Summer Without Burning Out 1) Stop and Think (Reflect) Socrates famously said, "The unexamined life is not worth living." For Socrates, life was more than pursuing the things that most men occupy themselves with, things like wealth, household affairs, status and position, and political clubs and factions. He believed that life only has value and meaning when we question what we think and know, and by more deeply understanding ourselves and others. The beginning of summer is an ideal time for reflection, and we all tend to occupy ourselves with the things Socrates talked about more than we probably care to admit. Taking a reflection day at the end of each quarter (consider removing "or trimester" for conciseness) can be an effective way to navigate seasonal changes. Finding a place far enough removed from your normal day-to-day life will help you get into a different headspace. A friend of mine often says: Change of pace + change of place = change of perspective. I've used hotels, monasteries, or even a beautiful outdoor location if the weather permits. Here are a few questions you might want to ask: How am I feeling spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically? How are my closest relationships doing? Am I living out my core values? Is my life moving in a direction I feel good about? What do I need to change or adjust? Here are a few ideas for how to conduct a reflection day: Prayer, meditation, or silence Review your biggest wins and assess your goals from the previous quarter Work on high-impact projects that require focus Preview the upcoming quarter and set your Big 3 goals: personal, marriage/family, work/business 2) Cut the Non-Essentials (Reevaluate) Both my wife and I work, so when summer arrives, we need to re-evaluate our schedules to accommodate our twelve-year-old son. In the past, I've made the mistake of trying to keep the same workload despite being home with him two days a week. I ended up frustrated all summer long, living in the tension of wanting to spend more time with him while trying to carry the same workload. Summer requires me to pare down my work roles to the essentials: Writing (currently working on a new book) Executive coaching (6-8 coaching clients) Relationship building and outreach Necessary administration (keeping this to 30% or less of my responsibilities) Moving forward, I will probably keep things this way. It feels more sustainable than the unrealistic expectations I previously held myself to. Once you define your key roles and responsibilities, the question becomes how to achieve better work-life integration not work-life balance. I use the Big 3 System. Choose only three big things to focus on at one time—quarterly, weekly, and daily. That's right, just three. Those three things are usually a combination of personal, marriage/family, and work. Each quarter, I typically choose 1 personal goal, 1 marriage and family goal, and 1-3 work goals, depending on the quarter. Here are a few questions to consider. If you have a partner, discuss them together: How does your schedule change in the summer? What work-related responsibilities and expectations do you need to adjust? What are 3 things you want to do this summer? What do you NOT want to do? 3) Choose What Matters Most (Rest) Paring down expectations isn't only for work, it applies to rest, too. Because it's summer, there is the temptation to want to fit in everything (—vacation, visit family, trips, fun, etc). In the past, we would try to do so much that by the time fall rolled around, we were exhausted. Last year, out of necessity, we planned a staycation instead of going away. It was one of the best vacations we've had in a long time. And besides, summers in New England are gorgeous! We went to see a movie, ate out, went to Six Flags, had a beach day, and took days in between just to relax. We loved it so much, we're doing a staycation again this year! Write down your list of summer expectations and plans. Now, cross out everything that feels exhausting and unfun. Don't try to fit everything in this summer. Pick a couple of things that feel life-giving and focus on those. Your Move Reflect. Re-evaluate. Rest. Choose one of the three and work on it in the next 24 hours. Plan a day of reflection. Have a conversation with your spouse. Choose how you're going to rest this summer. I don't care which one it is, just take action. Here’s one question to consider: What would you stop doing this summer if no one was watching? Most people think summer is about maximizing experiences and fitting everything in, but the truth is that the most productive leaders use summer to strategically subtract, not add. They understand that rest isn't what you do after the work is done—it's what makes the work sustainable in the first place. You've got this.
By Kent Murawski May 26, 2025
“Should I end this?” were the last words I said before collapsing to the ground in excruciating pain. The only thing I ended that day was my basketball career ⛹️! On Sunday, May 18, 2025, I ruptured my patella tendon playing basketball with my boys. We were playing a game of P.I.G., and it was […]
By Kent Murawski May 16, 2025
“You’re not going to become a monk, are you?”  My wife asked me this after I excitedly returned from a week-long retreat to a Trappist monastery and my growing fascination with monastic rhythms.  The obvious answer is no, since I’m neither single nor celibate It began the previous week when my twelve-year-old son and I […]
By Kent Murawski May 7, 2025
I always thought the big decisions were what shaped my life trajectory, but my 50th birthday celebration revealed something way more interesting—it’s actually the tiny, everyday choices that determine where you ultimately end up. It was the most meaningful birthday I’ve ever had.  Fair warning, this is a long one, but it will be worth […]
By Kent Murawski March 19, 2025
Your capacity to recognize when to pause may be more valuable than knowing when to push. Lately, I haven’t had anything to write, which is a rare occurrence. Sure, I could try to pound something out or pull some unused content out of the archives (which I have tons of), but here’s what I’ve discovered: […]
By Kent Murawski March 6, 2025
How are you? Your answer to this question reveals more about your future success and well-being than any strategic plan. We often wear busyness as a badge of honor. Ask ten people how they are doing, and nine out of ten times the answer will be, “busy.” That’s not the way things ought to be. […]
By Kent Murawski January 30, 2025
The weight of unrealistic self-expectations can feel crushing, especially at the start of a new year. January is not even over, and I’m already feeling overwhelmed.  It’s often said that we can be our own worst bosses or that the most challenging person to lead is the person in the mirror.  What do you do […]
By Kent Murawski January 16, 2025
Failed dreams can become your greatest victories. While dreams are essential for hope and growth, unfulfilled dreams can breed disillusionment. Yet what appears to be a “failed” dream often reveals itself as an opportunity. Barbara Corcoran, the renowned Shark Tank Investor, once said, “All my best successes came on the heels of failure.” This wisdom […]
By Kent Murawski January 4, 2025
Did you know that 92% of people give up on their goals by January 12th? Pretty shocking, right? I used to be part of that statistic. Every year, I’d write down my goals with excitement, only to find them collecting dust by February. It was frustrating and, honestly, a bit embarrassing. But then I discovered […]