The View from 50

Kent Murawski

I always thought the big decisions were what shaped my life trajectory, but my 50th birthday celebration revealed something way more interesting—it’s actually the tiny, everyday choices that determine where you ultimately end up.

Man in black jacket and jeans stands next to a silver Ferrari convertible on a sunny asphalt track.

It was the most meaningful birthday I’ve ever had. 

Fair warning, this is a long one, but it will be worth your time. 

First, a quick recap of why my 50th was so meaningful. It began with a trip to Florida to visit my Mom before my birthday. One of my sisters and my nephew also came up from Miami to surprise me. We golfed, ate, swam, played games, and laughed until we cried. 

Afterward, my heart was full. 

Next, I arrived home and the next day celebrated with my wife and children. My wife had arranged for my kids, family, and mentors to write encouraging letters. My kids read theirs to me during dinner. There were tears and laughter. 

My wife wrote, “Honestly, Kent, you are one of my biggest inspirations, and I can’t even imagine where I would be if I hadn’t met you.” (The feeling is mutual; my wife is the best person I know by far and has had the biggest impact on my life). 

My twenty-one-year-old son wrote, “I realize everything you did and said was for a reason.” 

My eighteen-year-old daughter wrote, “You were and still are my biggest inspiration to follow my heart and my head, which has shaped the kind of person I am now.” 

And my twelve-year-old son wrote “50 Reasons Why You Are So Awesome.” Some of them were a hoot:

“You always say I can do it, even if it’s not helping.”

“You always know what’s best for me, even if I don’t admit it.” 

“You correct my grammar, even if I don’t like it.” 

And there were endearing ones, too:

“You always congratulate me even if I get B’s in school, and some parents are angry about that.” 

“You get me birthday and Christmas presents with your own money.” 

“You always somehow tend to make up a stupid name for me each day.” 

My heart was bursting. 

But it wasn’t over. A week later, my wife arranged a final celebration at Jack’s Abbey Brewery with six of my close friends. Two-thirds through the celebration, my friend of twenty years asked everyone to share a word of encouragement with me. 

Words like loyalty, perseverance, father, pastor, faithfulness, and friend were used. And one of my friends asked me to share three pieces of wisdom I’ve learned in my 50 years that would be helpful for them.

My heart was overflowing. 

The Compound Effect

Throughout all these celebrations, one thing stood out to me: 

The investments people have made in me and those I have made in myself, in my faith, and in others, were compounding. 

Like compound interest in an investment account, your choices compound, too. 

That’s not to say I’ve done it perfectly. In some of those same letters from my children were some hard statements, like: 

“Though we haven’t always gotten along.” 

“You taught me responsibility (albeit a bit heavy-handed sometimes).” 

But for the most part, the number of good choices I made far outweighed the poor ones. Honestly, before this year of compounding joy and abundance, it felt like twenty-five years of hardship. Not that it was all bad, there were many good things, but there was so much struggle…

  • The late-night fights trying to save our marriage
  • Praying for money to buy groceries and pay bills
  • Struggling to overcome my anger issues
  • The frequent disappointments, setbacks, hurts, and letdowns that come with leading organizations and people

Looking back, I realize those struggles made me who I am. But through it all, there was also persistence and perseverance to stay the course, though I sometimes felt like giving up.

It reminds me of the One Degree Rule…

The One Degree Rule

On March 28, 1979, a sightseeing plane bound for Antarctica crashed into a mountain, killing all 279 people onboard. The crew had not been informed of a two-degree correction made the night before, but one or two degrees can make all the difference. The One Degree Rule states that for each degree a plane veers off course, it will miss its destination by one mile for every 60 miles it flies. 

The same is true for life.  

If your trajectory is just one or two degrees off, you may not notice it much over a year or two, but by the time you get ten or twenty years out, it’s apparent to everyone around you.  

My ten-year high school reunion was a good example. I went from the class hellion to receiving the “Most Changed Since High School” award.

Now, thirty years out from high school, those choices and that trajectory are clear. And the future looks bright. I feel more peace, contentment, and joy than ever. Not that there won’t be more hardship, there will. But I’m learning to enjoy life for what it is, 

A beautiful, messy gift. 

Lessons Learned from Each Decade

“Age is just a number, isn’t it?” 

That’s what a friend said to me when I recently turned 50. It ​​suggests a person’s chronological age doesn’t define them or their capabilities, interests, behaviors, or how they should live their life. After thanking him for the birthday wishes, I responded to him. 

“Yes and no for me. It depends a lot on your perspective of life. I always look at the decades as a time for reflection, and I feel much differently about each one. This one in particular feels really good because of the place in life where I find myself. The investments I’ve made in my family, friends, faith, and myself, as well as the investments others have made in me, are paying off, and it feels really good. I’m deeply grateful. Sorry for the long exposition. This one feels more sentimental and reflective than 30 or 40…”

In some ways, age doesn’t define you, but it should define us in other ways (like not trying to dress like a twenty-year-old when I’m 50). Just think of how many people try to act twenty when they are forty because they fear growing old. I’m fifty, I don’t want to try to be twenty-five again – dress like I’m 25, act like I’m 25, think like I’m 25. I was newly married, didn’t know anything (but thought I knew everything), had a wicked anger problem, and possessed zero emotional intelligence. Heck, I don’t even want my 25-year-old body again. I was a youth pastor, eating way too much pizza, and 40 lbs heavier than I am now! 

Decades are a great time for reflection because we can see more in hindsight than by peering into the unknown. A decade is also a non-trivial amount of time. Ten years of seemingly small daily decisions set the tone for one’s trajectory. 

My ten-year high school reunion was a good example. I went from the class hellion to receiving the “Most Changed Since High School” award. 

With that in mind, let me share some hard-earned lessons and reflections from each decade. 

Don’t worry. I won’t bore you with 50 lessons from my 50th birthday, just a short reflection from each decade. 

At 20…

I was too young and dumb to reflect on much of anything at 20, nor had I lived enough life. I didn’t necessarily want to look back too much; I wanted to escape the pain of my past. I was too busy living La Vida Loca (The Crazy Life) . 

If I had to sum up my teen years in one word, it would be “turbulent.” 

What would my 50-year-old self say to my 20-year-old self? 

Truth be told, my twenty-year-old self would probably say, “F-off. I don’t care.” 

Which led to me learning many things the hard way. But let’s give him the benefit of the doubt for a minute. 

First, I would have compassion on my twenty-year-old self. “I know you had a rough upbringing. You have a tough exterior, but inside there is a big heart. There’s a big heart-shift coming, and it will determine your trajectory for the next twenty years. Things will still be difficult because life is hard, but they will get better. You won’t believe how much peace you will have on the inside, some of the things you get to do, the places you will go, the people you will meet, or where you will end up in the next 10-20 years. You’re about to set out on an epic adventure…and some tough times. In the end, they will make you a better person, but in the moment, they will sometimes feel unbearable. 

At 30…

Am I where I thought I would be by now? Am I moving in the right direction? Do I need to make any adjustments to my trajectory? These are the questions I was asking at 30. Looking back at my twenties, I was learning who I was as a person and a leader, and cracks in my foundation from a difficult upbringing were starting to show. But I also had some major personal breakthroughs. For starters, my trajectory changed significantly upon coming to faith at age 21. After graduating from college, I moved home, found a community of faith, met the love of my life at church, began serving as a youth and young adult leader, married at 25, burned out at age 27 (as in a full-blown nervous breakdown), and was ordained a minister at 28. By 29, I had my first child and moved to Rochester, NY, to lead my first organization. 

If I had to sum up my twenties in one word, it would be “forging.” 

What would my 50-year-old self say to my 30-year-old self? 

Did you ever imagine you would be where you are now? You’ve come a long way, buddy. It’s been intense, and it’s about to get more intense, but don’t worry, you will make it through and be better for it. There will be deep joys, intense sorrows, and some wonderful surprises along the way. Your thirties will be a blur and some of the most intense years of your life, as the thirties often are (family, having kids, leadership…it all happens at once). There will be many changes and challenges, but this is the stuff of life—the stuff that makes or breaks you as a person. You will persevere, though at times it won’t look like you’re going to make it. The tunnel will get dark, and sometimes, you won’t be able to see the light at the end, but trust me, it’s there. You will learn much more about who you are, your strengths, weaknesses, and how you’re made. Take heart and be brave. Never stop becoming who you were made to be and don’t stop pursuing your wife and family.  

At 40…

By 40, I had heard all the tropes about mid-life, such as “life begins at forty” (which is not true, by the way). The question I found myself asking was, Am I making a difference? The thirties were demanding. We had two more children, I learned how hard it was to be the leader, and I left the non-profit where I had been the executive director for five years, moving from rural, NY to the middle of one of the most expensive, most densely populated cities in America— Cambridge, Massachusetts. Again, there were some significant challenges in my forties: personal, marital, leadership, and financial. Then, at age 39, something happened that would shape the trajectory of the next ten years and beyond. Dancing on the edge of burnout…again…I had an epiphany. One afternoon, during a time of prayer, another burnout felt inevitable, but instead, I was overcome by peace, and I heard this phrase reverberate in my soul, 

Kent, you don’t have to understand or control things to live from a place of peace and rest.  

Over the next several years, I learned how to live within my limits and establish healthy rhythms in the core areas of life: relational, emotional/mental, spiritual, and tangible (work, $$$, eat, sleep, and exercise). That set me up for exponential growth in my mid to late forties, as all the lessons I had learned began to coalesce. 

What would my 50-year-old self say to my 40-year-old self? 

You made it to 40! That in and of itself is a feat considering your early years. Don’t worry. You’re not going to have a midlife crisis, and you can’t afford a Corvette, so there’s no need to worry about that, but you will experience the most significant life shifts to date. There will be some more deep disappointments and family challenges that will leave you feeling confused and disoriented, but in the end, they will lead you to hope, and some of the things you thought you would do forever will change. Fear not! It’s all for your good, and as you experience more joy than you have in years. The future is bright!

There will also be some big changes you can’t anticipate, but you will also see a glimmer of hope. You will begin to know yourself well, and all the hardship and lessons you’ve learned thus far will start to crystallize. As they do, you will see and experience hope, and you will begin to share your wisdom with others from a deeper place. Things will start to click for you, and many will fall into place, setting you up for a decade of fruitfulness in your fifties. You will endure some of the deepest disappointments and navigate some of the most turbulent waters of your life, but hang in there, it’s worth it, and the peace and contentment you will begin to experience in your late forties is not insignificant. Press through, fight the cynicism, and keep your heart soft. The U-shaped happiness curve will start to rise the closer you get to 50, giving way to deep gratitude, peace, joy, and contentment. 

At 50…

Looking back, my forties were a tough and demanding decade—raising three children (navigating the turbulent teen years with two), financial difficulties, leading and closing the church we had started from scratch, transitioning to a new career after twenty years of vocational ministry, and dealing with deep doubt and disappointment about my calling. On the flip side, they were arguably my most formative decade. In your forties, life’s hard knocks and deep disappointments seem to catch up to you, and it’s easy to become cynical if you’re not careful. There is also some evidence that happiness is at its lowest levels during your forties. It decreases after 18, bottoms out around your mid-forties, and then increases throughout old age (this is a general rule, and it isn’t agreed upon by everyone, but it rang true in my life). That being said, your forties don’t have to become a mid-life crisis, and for most, they don’t. 

Riding the momentum of that epiphany in my late thirties about living from rest and peace, I paid appropriate attention to my rhythms—prioritizing my physical health, acknowledging my emotions, taking a weekly rest or Sabbath day, and investing more deeply in my significant relationships. My wife and I did our second bout of marriage counseling, which proved fruitful—helping us shift from a mediocre marriage to an excellent one. 

With the second half of life in full swing, or what David Brooks calls, The Second Mountain, there is a deep desire to take what I’ve learned and use it to serve others rather than climb the ladder of accomplishment. Beginning in my mid to late forties, I’ve become increasingly aware of my own mortality and finitude—desireing to give more time and attention to the things that matter most—family and friends, faith, meaningful work centered on my gifts and strengths that bring me joy, and taking care of myself so that I can maximize my contribution to the people and the world around me. 

What would my 60-year-old self tell to my 50-year-old self? 

Looking into the crystal ball, so to speak, I might say, “Thanks for investing in yourself and others. The dividends are clearly paying off. You have an amazingly bright future ahead of you. There are going to be some opportunities that come your way that will blow your mind, but you don’t have to worry about that. Just stay tuned and present to God, yourself, and the people around you, and keep leaning into your mid-life anthem:

But I have calmed and quieted myself,
    I am like a weaned child with its mother;
    like a weaned child I am content.¹

Your One-Degree Shift Starts Today

What small trajectory shift do you need to make right now, that in the coming months and years will compound into something wonderful? 

Footnotes

¹ From Psalm 131

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By Kent Murawski January 12, 2026
Nearly half of all Americans finished ZERO books last year. Reading 5 books per year puts you in the top 33 percent. Reading 10 books per year puts you in the top 21 percent. Reading 20, 30, or 40 books per year puts you in rare company — among the top 10 percent of readers. Which camp do you fall into? You see, in the past, I didn’t read much either…maybe 3-4 books per year. But several years ago, I decided to be a reader. That one decision changed my life. Since then, I’ve steadily increased the amount of time I read each day, which has led to more books read.  2025 is a bit deceiving because I read two books that were 600 pages—which is really like three books. That brings me up to about 29 books for the year. Here's what matters: It's less about the number of books you read and more about becoming a reader. Are We Getting Dumber? A recent article in the Economist highlighted some alarming trends. Multiple studies have concluded that adults, children, and teenagers are all reading less, and very small children are being read to less. Reading to my children has been one of the joys of my life. It’s such fun that I recently reinstated reading to my thirteen-year-old before bed…again. We are currently reading The Hobbit . Tolkien has lots of songs in his books, so I even dance and sing a little, too! The article bluntly states, “Reading is in trouble.”: In America, the share of people who read for pleasure has fallen by two-fifths in 20 years. That’s a 40% drop in just two decades. Sentences are getting shorter and simpler. Hundreds of NY Times bestsellers were analyzed and found that sentences in popular books have contracted by almost a third since the 1930s. Presidential speeches have dropped from postgraduate-level complexity to high-school-level in 250 years, from George Washington’s postgraduate-level score of about 28.7 to Donald Trump’s high-school-level score of about 9.4. Here’s what concerns me most: many leaders don’t read that much either, and that sets them at a significant disadvantage. Some of my best ideas come from cross-disciplinary reading or reading outside my field of expertise. No, I don’t read 50 or 100 books a year like some people. I can’t make that kind of time right now. That takes about an hour of reading per day. I read about two books per month—not to hit a number, but because I've experienced what happens when I don't. My thinking gets shallow. My creativity dries up. My leadership suffers. What Reading Actually Does for You #1 - Reading strengthens the neural pathways that make you sharp A former mentor of mine said, “Leaders are readers.” Though there are many forms of learning (podcasts, courses, etc), reading physical books does something podcasts and courses can't. Reading creates and strengthens the neural pathways your brain uses to think, process, and solve problems. When you stop reading, these pathways literally weaken. Your attention span shrinks. Your ability to think deeply deteriorates. I see this firsthand in my coaching business. Being a reader allows me to stay sharp for my clients, process complex ideas, and lead with more creativity. #2 - Reading makes you healthier My Nana was as sharp as a tack until the day she died at age 92, and one of the key memories I have is her doing crossword puzzles every time I came to her house. Reading comes with many physical and mental benefits. It has been shown to increase brain strength, empathy, sleep, and life expectancy, and decrease stress, depression, and cognitive decline as you age. All that by the simple act of reading. Seems like a small trade-off for so many benefits. I can personally attest to this. Reading makes you smarter and healthier. #3 - Reading Makes You Smarter When you read a book, you gain 2-3 years of accumulated knowledge. That’s how long the average book takes to research, write, and release. Beyond that, there are usually many more years of life experience embedded within its pages. Sir Francis Bacon, the renowned scientist and philosopher, coined the phrase “knowledge is power.” But knowledge without application is just information. Understanding is what happens when you apply what you read. When I read a book, I’m looking for relevant takeaways that apply right now , unless it’s a good fiction book that I’m reading for enjoyment. Even then, I sometimes find myself marking pages, underlining quotes, or making notes for future use. Here are five books that transformed how I think and lead in 2025. Five Books that Changed How I Think and Lead In 2025 #1 - Jobs by Walter Isaacson It's hard to summarize a person's life in one core idea, but if I had to, I'd say Jobs lived for innovation and focus. His ability to tune out the noise and stay laser-focused on the few products that would change everything was legendary. But that singular focus came at a brutal cost. Jobs could make people believe they could do the impossible—and they did. But relationships? Not his strength. Building an enduring company where people made great products was everything. "Everything else was secondary," including the people closest to him. This book gave me a vivid picture of how to stay relentlessly focused and how not to lead relationally. #2 - The Creative Act by Rick Rubin Rubin's big idea: creativity isn't a method you master—it's a way of being. Instead of giving you a step-by-step process, Rubin explores what creativity looks like through different people and forms. The book reads like a devotional, with short chapters you can absorb daily for inspiration. Each one offers a fresh perspective on creativity as something alive, ever-changing, and growing. The Creative Act helped solidify that creativity is a way of life, not just moments of inspiration. #3 - The Genesee Diary by Henri Nouwen Nouwen spent seven months at a Trappist monastery, trying to escape the frenetic pace of academia and ministry. I read the book while at the same monastery, The Abbey of the Genesee in Western, NY. What stuck with me most was this line: "When you want to hurry something, that means you no longer care about it, and want to get on to other things." That landed like a punch. Nouwen discovered that his need to achieve, to be recognized, to stay busy—all of it was disconnecting him from love itself. The Benedictine rhythm of prayer, work, and rest wasn't just a nice monastic practice. It was the antidote to a life lived detached from God and people. Nouwen wrestled with whether he could bring this slower way back into his "real life." The question haunted him: Can you live contemplatively in an active world? His honest answer: barely. But the trying matters. #4 - Three Mile an Hour God by Koyami Kosuki Koyama, a Japanese theologian, brings an Eastern perspective that shattered my Western theological assumptions. He weaves insights from Buddhism, Hinduism, and Taoism (without embracing universalism) to paint a fuller picture of God at work in the world. But the real gut punch? His unflinching examination of the injustices the Church has participated in—especially toward ethnic and religious minorities. What stuck with me: Koyama's penetrating questions left me wrestling with my own complicity. He doesn't offer easy answers or seven-step solutions. Instead, he forces you to sit with the discomfort and ask yourself: How am I participating in injustice? How do I bring God's justice into the world? Honestly? I'm still not sure. But the asking matters. #5 - Hell Yeah or No by Derek Sivers ​​Sivers' philosophy is simple: if it's not a "hell yeah," it's a no. The book is a collection of over 60 short chapters—life wisdom condensed into bite-sized pieces you can read daily. Wide-ranging and thought-provoking, Sivers challenges you to think more deeply about what you're doing, why you're doing it, and whether it's actually worth doing at all. What stuck with me: His relentless clarity about priorities. Most of us say yes to things that are merely "fine" or "good enough," filling our lives with mediocre commitments. Sivers strips away the noise and asks the hard question: Is this a hell yeah? If not, why are you doing it? It's a gold mine for anyone drowning in obligations they never really wanted in the first place. Your RHYTHMS Check This is about your Emotional and Mental rhythms and the practices that protect your mental clarity and creative capacity. If you don't become a reader, your brain will continue weakening. Your ideas will stay shallow. Your leadership will plateau. You'll keep grinding harder while thinking slower. But if you commit to becoming a reader... you'll strengthen neural pathways that make complex thinking easier. You'll gain years of compressed wisdom from leaders who've walked ahead of you. You'll process stress better, sleep more deeply, and lead with more creativity. Your reading habits determine whether you're building mental capacity or burning it down. This week's rhythm: Choose one book that you already have and read one page today, maybe before bed or with your morning coffee. Do this for seven days straight and notice what happens to your mental clarity. When was the last time you read something that actually changed how you think—not just informed you, but transformed you? Until next time, Kent PS - My new e-book, On Becoming a Reader: Unlocking the Power of Reading , shows you how to become a reader using simple, science-backed strategies that actually work. No guilt. No overwhelm. Just one page at a time, starting today. Whenever you're ready, there are four ways I can help you... Try the 5-minute REST Assessment to identify exactly where you are on the burnout scale—from Thriving to Critical—so you can take the next right step. Transform those anxiety-filled, rushed mornings into your foundation for daily success with my course, Win the Morning, Win the Day! ​ ​ Schedule a Discovery Call to find out if executive coaching is for you - for business owners or executives Catalyze your organization - invite me to do a keynote or workshop ​ Sources “Most Americans Didn’t Read Many Books in 2025,” https://yougovamerica.substack.com/p/most-americans-didnt-read-many-books Dr. Thomas H. Agrait https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/negative-impact-decline-reading-society-perspective-dr-thomas-h--bdmre/ ​ “Is the Decline of Reading Making Politics Dumber?” https://www.economist.com/culture/2025/09/04/is-the-decline-of-reading-making-politics-dumber “Is the Decline of Reading Making Politics Dumber?” https://www.economist.com/culture/2025/09/04/is-the-decline-of-reading-making-politics-dumber “Benefits of Reading Books: How It Can Positively Affect Your Life,” https://www.healthline.com/health/benefits-of-reading-books#takeaway ​ “What Did Francis Bacon Mean by Knowledge Is Power?” https://www.thecollector.com/francis-bacon-knowledge-is-power/
By Kent Murawski December 28, 2025
"I’ve never seen you this at peace before." My friend said this exactly 30 days before I ruptured my patella tendon and lost nearly every rhythm I'd built. What do you do when your rhythms get hijacked by life or someone else's agenda? When You’re Rhythms Fall Apart Some of you may be asking, Does the guy who talks about the “right rhythms” being the answer to burnout and overwhelm ever feel burned out himself? The simple answer is yes. The complex answer is, no matter how great your rhythms are, life still throws you curveballs that you can’t control, and you’re going to get weary sometimes. This usually happens right when you feel you are starting to hit a groove. That’s what happened to me back in May when I ruptured my patella tendon. It happened right on the heels of one of the best seasons of my life. Let me paint the picture for you: I was near my ideal weight, lifting three times a week, emotionally and mentally sharp, work was going better than ever, my relationships were solid, and I'd just returned from a ​transformative retreat​ where a friend commented, "I've never seen you that at peace before." A month later, on May 18, 2025, 9-12 months of my life were instantly decided for me by my injury. All of my physical rhythms instantly ceased. Many of my spiritual practices disappeared. Emotionally? Crushed. Devastated. Thankfully, I could still work since my job is virtual, but I was staring down a long road I didn't choose. The Thing That Held I'd like to tell you I bounced back quickly. I didn't. It took months just to feel some sense of normalcy again. Even now, some of the rhythms I cherish, like my daily walks to the park, are just returning albeit significantly different with no small amount of pain. Having the right rhythms is crucial, and they are going to help you immensely. But they also need to be flexible enough to move with life. When by no choice of your own, one or more go out the window, the others have to be strong enough to hold. Here's what I learned: Rhythms matter. They help immensely. But they're only as strong as the relationships holding them in place. When your systems fail—and they will—it's the people who love you who determine whether you recover or collapse. Thanks especially to my wife who put up with a lot of grumpiness and bore the weight of the family for 2-3 months as I began to recover. She drove me to every appointment, took off work, attended my needs, and was a taxi service for the kids. My friends came to visit me, some from an hour away. My kids pitched in however they could. Slowly but surely, after two surgeries and weekly PT, life returned to some sense of normalcy, and I am now halfway through the recovery process. How about you? Which of your rhythms are currently broken? And more importantly—who's holding you up while you rebuild? Your RHYTHMS Check Most people think the right rhythms will prevent burnout and protect them from life's chaos, but the truth is rhythms are only as strong as the relationships holding them in place—and when your systems fail, it's the people who love you who determine whether you recover or collapse. This is about your Relational rhythms —the people, connections, and support systems that hold you when your other rhythms fail. Most leaders focus obsessively on optimizing their personal systems (physical routines, productivity hacks, spiritual practices) while neglecting the relational foundation that determines whether those systems can be sustained long-term. If you don't intentionally strengthen your relational rhythms before a crisis hits... you'll face it alone, without the support network that makes recovery possible. You'll burn through willpower trying to maintain systems that were never designed to stand without relational support. But if you invest in your relational rhythms now... you create a foundation that holds when everything else collapses. You build a network of people who will carry you through seasons when you can't carry yourself. Your relational rhythm determines whether burnout becomes a spiral or a season you move through with support. This week's rhythm: Identify the three people who would show up if your life fell apart tomorrow. Then reach out to one of them—not to ask for anything, but to invest in that relationship while you still have capacity. Send a text. Schedule coffee. Make a phone call. The relationships that hold you through crisis are built in the ordinary moments before crisis hits. If your carefully constructed routines disappeared tomorrow, who would actually show up to help you rebuild—and have you invested in those relationships lately? Hit reply and tell me: Who is one person you're going to reach out to this week to strengthen your relational foundation? I read every response, and I'm genuinely curious who shows up for you. Until next time, Kent Whenever you're ready, there are four ways I can help you... Try the 5-minute ​REST Assessment​ to identify exactly where you are on the burnout scale—from Thriving to Critical—so you can take the next right step. Transform those anxiety-filled, rushed mornings into your foundation for daily success with my course, ​Win the Morning, Win the Day!​ ​Schedule a Discovery Call​ to find out if executive coaching is for you - for business owners or executives Catalyze your organization - invite me to do a ​keynote or workshop
An old family picture before my youngest son was born.
By Kent Murawski December 14, 2025
When was the last time you looked at your values and actually felt convicted? I created my personal core values years ago. Read them every day. Have most of them memorized. Use them as a decision-making compass. They are so ingrained in me that I can’t live any other way. To go outside of my values is failure. To live within them is success. The Reality Gap If only it were that easy. Though I do seek to live my values in everything, in the day-to-day scramble of life, it’s easy to lose sight of them or default to an easier option. I’m not perfect, and I’m not always going to get it right. Neither are you. The urgent question you need to ask is, am I moving closer and closer to the person I want to be or drifting further away? Values aren't just reminders. They're the architecture of your soul. When you live disconnected from them, you feel it—even when everything looks successful on the outside. Knowing your values is a good start, but living by them requires intentionality. Values In Action Let me show you what this looks like in real life—the messy, trackable, accountable version. One of my personal values is “Intentional,” which simply means to do something by design. In my case, this primarily refers to my relationships. Because values without action are just nice words, I define it as an action, “I create thriving relationships by being an intentional husband, father, and friend.” But that’s still not enough. Here are some specific behaviors I practice in order to be intentional with my most important relationships: Wife - We aim to talk three times per week for at least 30 minutes, a bi-weekly date night, an entire day together quarterly, and a yearly getaway. Kids - I aim to intentionally connect with one of my kids each week. That could be an outing with one of them, watching a show, or just knocking on their door to chat for a bit. They all happen to live at home right now, but as they move out, that will become a weekly phone call or touch point. Friends - I aim to connect with my closest friends face-to-face once per month, and try to text them at least once in between. Living an hour away makes this harder, but that's exactly why I track it. Peter Drucker, sometimes referred to as the father of modern management once said, “If you can’t measure it, you can’t manage it.” Your values are no exception. A good relationship can be hard to measure (you intuitively know how you feel about them—good, bad, or somewhere in between), but what creates a good relationship is easier to measure—time spent, effective communication, listening, dates, etc. These are my greatest opportunities for impact. My wife needs a husband who pursues her. My kids need a father who champions them. My friends need someone who shows up—in the small moments and the crises. Failure here ripples through generations. As John Maxwell wrote and I've embraced as my own definition of relational success, "Success is when the people who know me best respect me the most." The Proof How do I know I’m living this value? My wife recently commented on this during a conversation with one of my kids. She said, “Your Dad is one of the most intentional people I know. He has a reason for everything he does and has thought through it. It’s one of the things I love about him.” I’ve always been intentional, but in the past, my intentionality was lopsided—toward things that mattered less—like work, success, and growth. Being intentional about work is good. Being intentional about work while your relationships get your leftovers? That's a different story. Your Rhythms Check Your values are the cornerstones of all four rhythms—Relational, Emotional, Spiritual, and Tangible—understanding who you are at your core and aligning your daily life with that identity. They're not just words on paper, they're the architecture of your soul. When you live disconnected from them, you experience internal friction, even if everything looks successful on the outside. Start by clearly identifying your values. If not you'll wake up one day realizing you've been climbing the wrong ladder. Your calendar will be full, your bank account might be healthy, but you’ll feel empty and the people who matter most will feel like they got your leftovers. You'll be successful in everyone's eyes except yourself and the people who know you best. That’s not success. But if you make your values non-negotiable, you’ll create alignment between who you say you are and who you actually are. Your decisions become clearer. Your relationships become richer. You stop living in constant internal conflict. You build a life that looks successful from the outside AND feels restful on the inside. Your values determine whether you're building a life or just managing a schedule. This week's rhythm: Take 10 minutes to write down your top 3 values. Then ask someone close to you: "Based on how I actually spend my time and energy, what do you think my real values are?" Don't defend. Just listen. The gap between your stated values and their answer is your growth edge. Here are two great resources I've used to help me: ​Brené Brown Dare to Lead Values List​ ​Steven Covey 80th Birthday Party​ The wake up call: If your calendar and bank statement were audited, what would they say your real values are—not what you wish they were? Hit reply and tell me: What's ONE value you say matters to you, but if you're honest, your life doesn't currently reflect it? And what's ONE thing you're going to do in the next 24 hours to close that gap? Until next time, Kent Whenever you're ready, there are four ways I can help you... Try the 5-minute ​REST Assessment​ to identify exactly where you are on the burnout scale—from Thriving to Critical—so you can take the next right step. Transform those anxiety-filled, rushed mornings into your foundation for daily success with my course, ​Win the Morning, Win the Day!​ ​Schedule a Discovery Call​ to find out if executive coaching is for you - for business owners or executives Catalyze your organization - invite me to do a ​keynote or workshop
By Kent Murawski December 1, 2025
1474 days of gratitude. For 1,474 days, I've been writing down three things I'm grateful for—without it, I don’t know where I’d be. Sure, I’ve missed some days here and there, but perfection is not the point…never has been. But before I move on, Happy Thanksgiving from my family to yours! 
By Kent Murawski November 16, 2025
What if the reason you can't rest isn't because you're too busy, but because you've made rest itself too complex? Rest is simple, but it's not easy. Here’s what I mean: Simple is the opposite of complex. Complex comes from the word “complect” which means woven together, entwined, or braided. Simple comes from the word “simplex” which means single, plain, one-fold, unbraided, or unconnected. Easy refers to something that is accessible and effortless, versus difficult and demanding. I love simplicity, but I often find myself overcomplicating things. What Simple Actually Looks Like Simple is elegant. A simple and delicious recipe A simple and clear framework A simple and compelling mission A simple and streamlined look or design A simple and easy-to-use piece of technology Notice what they all have in common, they remove rather than add. Simplicity requires intentionality, focused thought, diligent effort, and often cutting, but it leaves you with something beautiful when it’s done. This is exactly what I learned the hard way. A Framework Born from Failure After my fall-down-on-the-floor nervous breakdown at 27, I had an epiphany: You don't need to understand or control everything to live and lead from a place of peace and rest. That moment led me to create the ​ Rhythms of REST℠ Framework​ —four key areas where all of us need simple, sustainable rhythms: R elational - the people and connections that matter most E motional/Mental - processing the weight of life and leadership S piritual - meaning, purpose, and grounding practices T angible - work, finances, and physical health. Just like a heart where all four chambers must work together for proper blood flow, a flourishing life depends on integrating these four rhythms. What a Well-Designed Life Looks Like The goal of life is simplicity. No one wants a complicated life. A simple life is a well-designed life. A well-designed life… Flows from a clear purpose and values, not others' expectations Gets reevaluated regularly; it’s dynamic, not static. Lives life holistically, rather than in separate compartments. Here’s what a well-designed life doesn’t mean… A well-designed life doesn’t mean perfection, and it doesn't mean we have ultimate control; we don’t. In fact, we have very little control except for self-control. We can’t control other people; we don’t control circumstances; and we can’t control what happens to us or around us for the most part. However, we do have a choice about how we respond to things and what we will do with the time that has been given to us. But simple doesn’t mean easy either. Doing the hard work of keeping things simple means we have to make difficult choices—choices that flow from our values. I learned this lesson the hard way fifteen years ago—crying in the car after four Christmases in five days. Being an intentional husband and father meant making a conscious choice to prioritize the well-being of myself and my family. That moment forced me to ask: Am I designing a life I love in line with my values, or succumbing to other people’s expectations? Which brings me to you… Your Rhythms Check This isn't about mastering one particular rhythm right now. This is about the values that shape your rhythms—because when your life is designed around your values rather than others' expectations, every area begins to work together. If you don't identify and prioritize your values, you'll keep saying yes to things that drain you and no to things that matter most. You'll end up with a complex life designed by committee—everyone else's priorities woven together until you can't find your own thread. But if you take the time to define your values, you can make difficult decisions from a place of clarity rather than guilt. You create simple systems that support what matters most. You stop apologizing for living intentionally. Your values determine whether you're living a life by design or by default. This week's rhythm: Take 15 minutes with pen and paper and do this brief core values exercise: If I could only say yes to three things in life, what would they be?" Don't overthink it. Don't make it complicated. Just write what comes first. Then look at your calendar for last week. How many of your commitments actually supported those three things? If someone looked at your calendar from last week, what would they say you value most—and would they be right? Most people think that creating rhythms of rest requires elaborate systems, perfect conditions, and massive life overhauls, but the truth is that simple, sustainable rest comes from eliminating complexity and living from your values—not by adding more structure. Leave a comment and tell me: What's the one thing you discovered you're currently saying yes to that your values would tell you to stop? I read every response, and I want to know what you're wrestling with. Until next time,
By Kent Murawski November 2, 2025
Driving home after four Christmases in five days, we were in tears. Not tears of joy—tears of exhaustion, overwhelm, and exasperation. Both our parents were divorced, but they all lived within two hours of each other. Obviously, we couldn't not visit all of them if we were going to the area. So, we set up Basecamp at one of our parents' houses, and each day, we traveled to one of their houses for another Christmas. In the end, we were a mess, and none of us was satisfied with the amount of time we'd spent with each one. It was like something out of the movies! At the time, we had young children, the desire to establish traditions of our own, and the desperate need for some downtime during the holidays. Fifteen years ago, that trip was the catalyst that helped us decide NOT to travel during the holidays. That decision changed everything —which is exactly what we're going to explore together on November 18th in a free webinar I'm calling The December Decision. Save your spot for the FREE webinar → Some might feel it’s too early to start talking about Christmas, but we've already begun receiving holiday gift magazines and seeing Christmas commercials weeks ago. Which means you're probably already feeling the pressure to plan, book, and commit. Holiday Overwhelm Is Real The truth is, even with that decision not to travel and other intentional ones, the holidays can STILL feel overwhelming. Your December probably includes work projects rushing to close before year-end, endless holiday parties—company events, client dinners, kids' school celebrations, church gatherings, neighborhood parties. Then there are family expectations around travel plans, hosting duties, gift shopping, and maintaining traditions like Christmas cards. Meanwhile, your kids' activities don't stop just because it's December, not to mention the year-end financial reviews, planning sessions, and strategic meetings that need to happen. And somehow you're supposed to smile through it all and "enjoy the magic of the holidays," right? Here’s the truth we know but don’t want to say: the people who matter most get whatever's left over. Your spouse gets the exhausted, irritable version of you. Your kids get the distracted, stressed, 'not now' version. And by December 26th, you’re exhausted, and there are only a few days to recover (if you get any time off at all) before the New Year begins, and it starts all over again This is the pattern, but maybe this year it will be different? Your Rhythms Check This is about your Relational rhythms —the quality of connection with the people who matter most. The holidays test these rhythms more than any other season because you're forced to choose between maintaining peace with extended family, meeting professional obligations, and protecting the sacred circle of your immediate family. If you don't set boundaries now , you'll spend January apologizing to your spouse and kids for being absent during what should have been your most connected season. You'll have attended 15 parties but missed the moments that actually matter. But if you make The December Decision now , you create space for the traditions that fuel you rather than drain you. You model for your children that rest isn't optional—it's strategic. You enter the new year energized, not depleted. Your Relational rhythm determines whether the holidays strengthen your closest bonds or strain them to the breaking point. This week's rhythm: Before you say yes to one more holiday commitment, have a 15-minute conversation with your spouse or accountability partner. Ask: "What are the three non-negotiable holiday experiences we want to protect this year?" Everything else is optional. Which holiday obligation are you dreading most—and what would happen if you simply didn't do it this year? Leave a comment: What's ONE holiday commitment you're going to say no to this year? I want to celebrate your courage to choose rest over obligation. Until next time, Kent PS - If you're realizing your December is already spinning out of control, you're not alone. On November 18th, I'm hosting a FREE webinar called The December Decision —where we'll map out how to slow the rush, protect what matters, and turn the holidays into fuel for your best year yet. No fluff, just a practical plan you can implement immediately. ​Save your spot for the FREE webinar →
By Kent Murawski October 19, 2025
After a retreat to a Trappist monastery at the end of April, my spiritual life had never been better. Then everything fell apart. A brutal knee injury in May forced me to focus on recovery for months. In fact, I’m still recovering and have a long way to go. Some of my spiritual rhythms fell apart, too, and my purpose started feeling foggy and unclear. It’s hard when life puts you in a narrow place. But life does that sometimes. It forces you to ask the question, Do I matter when I can’t do all the things I normally do? Do I Matter? Not long ago, I walked into my office and my youngest son had written on the whiteboard: "Jon was here." 
By Kent Murawski October 5, 2025
“I don’t know how to rest.” This is what one leader said to me during a coaching session. Does that ring true for you? Most people think rest is something you earn after completing all your work, but the truth is the work is never done—which means rest isn't a reward, it's a rhythm you choose before you need it. That’s why I encourage people to rest first. The Missing Half of the Golden Rule We’ve all heard a version of the Golden Rule: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” “Love your neighbor as yourself.” The emphasis is usually on the first part—"Do unto others" and "Love your neighbor." But I rarely hear the second part talked about: "As you would have them do unto you" and "as yourself. Here’s what I mean. Like you, I’ve noticed I’m not always kind to myself. If I’m hungry, I’ll keep pushing through until I’m famished. If I need to use the restroom, I’ll often wait until I’m ready to burst. But lately, instead of putting myself last, I've been trying to put myself first. Don’t worry. I’m not using the Golden Rule to advocate for some new form of hyperindividualism or narcissism. We’ve got enough of that. I am, however, encouraging you to stop putting urgent but less important things before your own well-being. Just as on an airplane, you are instructed to secure your own oxygen mask before helping others, I wonder if the same is true for life? After all, if you don’t take care of yourself, how can you possibly be effective for others? You are the greatest asset you can give to the world . Your health, mental/emotional state, and well-being are usually more important than the task you’re doing. I’ve summed this up in the mantra, “Rest First.” What Rest First Really Means (Left off here on Claude) Practically speaking, resting first is an all-encompassing term for being kind to yourself, loving yourself, and putting yourself above things that matter less. This could include any or all of the four ​Rhythms of Rest​ : Relational, Emotional, Spiritual, or Tangible. Relational: Saying "I need space" before resentment builds Emotional: Sharing how you feel before you blow up Spiritual: Starting your day with silence before the chaos begins Tangible: Eating before you're famished, sleeping before you're exhausted Rest first doesn't mean doing less. It means protecting yourself so you can do more of what matters. Rest First is about being kind to yourself and putting yourself above less important things. If you don’t rest first, you’ll be ineffective when you’re most needed by others. But if you’re kind to yourself first, you’ll feel energized and ready to give of yourself to your family, friends, coworkers, and neighbors. Until next time, Kent Whenever you're ready, there are four ways I can help you... Try the 5-minute ​REST Assessment​ to identify exactly where you are on the burnout scale—from Thriving to Critical—so you can take the next right step. Transform those anxiety-filled, rushed mornings into your foundation for daily success with my course, ​Win the Morning, Win the Day!​ ​Schedule a Discovery Call​ to find out if executive coaching is for you - for business owners or executives Catalyze your organization - invite me to do a ​keynote or workshop​
By Kent Murawski September 16, 2025
Telling overachievers to "rest more" is simply too abstract. At 27, I was face-down on my kitchen floor having a complete nervous breakdown—and it was one of the best things that ever happened to me. Last time, I shared ​Brandon's story​ —the CEO who went from 15-hour days to 4-hour days by implementing a simple 24-hour Rest practice. I also revealed how burnout is actually depletion across four core areas. The Work Is Never Done… For years, I believed the lie that rest was something you earned after the work was done. But the work is never done. So we grind, hustle, and push through—numbing ourselves with distractions (like scrolling social media) and calling it rest. That way of living might get results for a time, but it inevitably leads to a life that feels hollow no matter how "successful" you appear from the outside. Here's what I discovered instead... My nervous breakdown became the catalyst for discovering what I now call the Rhythms of REST—a framework designed to keep your core life rhythms in sync so you can sustain success without burning out. Much like a heart, where all four chambers must work together for proper blood flow, your life depends on four key rhythms working in harmony: Relational, Emotional, Spiritual, and Tangible.
By Kent Murawski August 26, 2025
A few weeks ago, I told you about Brandon —the CEO who went from 15-hour days to 4-hour days without his company suffering. But I never told you how he got there. Brandon hadn't taken a real day off in 5 or 6 years. He had so much work to do, he felt he would be buried if he took a day off. So I told him about the ancient Jewish practice of Sabbath—a twenty-four-hour period of rest that begins at sundown on Friday and ends at sundown on Saturday. I encouraged him to start with a shorter period, from sundown until noon the next day, but when he learned that it began in the evening, something clicked for him. He wanted to do it from 6 p.m. on Friday until 6 p.m. on Saturday, which left him some time on Saturday evening to do some work. Week 1 went great! He did something fun for himself, spent time with his family, rested, and walked. After 2-3 months of doing this, something shifted, and he began to feel differently and see from a new perspective. Work no longer stressed him out, and he was enjoying life again! As one commenter said when I posted about this on LinkedIn, "The breakthrough isn't just working fewer hours, but creating intentional rhythms that let creativity, focus, and energy align." Here’s the hard truth Brandon learned: your business (life, job, you fill in the blank) will survive one day without you. Honestly, there was no logical explanation for it. It doesn't really make sense. Such a small shift with massive results. How did that happen? The Rest Dilemma You see, most leaders don't know what rest is or how to rest. Is it sleep, watching Netflix, sitting in a hammock, or reading a book under a tree? Sometimes. Furthermore, how do you even know when you’re truly rested? It’s different for everyone, but the opposite of rest is burnout or overwhelm. Here's how I define burnout and overwhelm: A state of Relational, Emotional/mental, Spiritual, and Physical exhaustion and depletion. It can be one, two, or all of them at once. Together, those four areas make up wholeness. Thrive in those four areas and you will become more whole; if not, you will be depleted and exhausted. But that's still too abstract for most busy leaders. That's exactly why I developed a concrete framework. I call it the Rhythms of REST ℠. More on that next time. Your Rhythms Check This is about your Spiritual rhythms —the practices and beliefs that ground you in something greater than your daily tasks and give your life meaning beyond your next achievement. But it’s also very practical. If you don't create intentional rhythms of rest…you'll continue the exhausting cycle of working harder to solve problems that require you to work smarter, leading to burnout and decreased effectiveness. But if you establish one consistent rhythm of rest...you'll discover what Brandon found—that stepping back actually propels you forward with greater clarity, creativity, and sustainable energy. Believe it or not, a day of real rest every week can determine whether you're running on empty or operating from a place of renewal. This week's rhythm: Block out 24 hours this week (12 if you can’t start there) where you completely disconnect from work. No emails, no "quick checks," no exceptions. What would have to be true for you to trust that taking 24 hours completely off work wouldn't bury you? Until next time, Kent Whenever you’re ready, there are four ways I can help you… Try the REST Assessment to identify exactly where you are on the burnout scale—from Thriving to Critical—so you can take the next right step. Transform those anxiety-filled, rushed mornings into your foundation for daily success with my course, Win the Morning, Win the Day! Schedule a Discovery Call to find out if executive coaching is for you - for business owners or executives Catalyze your organization - invite me to do a keynote or workshop