The weight of unrealistic self-expectations can feel crushing, especially at the start of a new year. January is not even over, and I’m already feeling overwhelmed.
It’s often said that we can be our own worst bosses or that the most challenging person to lead is the person in the mirror.
What do you do to avoid overwhelm and get back on track?
Breaking Free from Self-Imposed Pressure
Plato once said, “The first and best victory is to conquer yourself. It’s also been said that the hardest person you will ever have to lead is yourself. Here are three ways to help you avoid overwhelm and get back on track.
#1 – Return to your foundation
What has consistently worked in the past? What unique abilities bring you both results and joy? Author Gay Hendricks calls this your “Zone of Genius” – the sweet spot where your talents, passions, and strengths perfectly intersect.
To find your way back to this zone, ask yourself:
- What’s the single next right step?
- Which tasks do you both excel at and genuinely enjoy?
- Where do you find flow – those moments when time seems to disappear because you’re perfectly matched to the challenge?
- Which activities drive the majority of your results?
According to Hendricks, the goal is to spend around 70% of our time in our Zone of Genius.
#2 – Practice Self Compassion
It’s easier said than done, but we can coach ourselves to do this without too much trouble. If a valued friend, co-worker, or someone on my team came to you feeling overwhelmed, how would you respond? What guidance would you offer?
This exercise puts empathy into action. And remember, while sympathy and empathy are related, they serve different purposes. Sympathy is feeling concern for someone’s difficulties, while empathy involves actively sharing in their emotional experience. Empathy, coined from the German “Einfühlung” (feeling into), means getting into the pit with someone and truly understanding their perspective.
It’s good old empathy in action—to sit in the path of or to walk a mile in their shoes. And remember, while sympathy and empathy are related, they serve different purposes. Sympathy is feeling concern for someone’s difficulties, while empathy involves actively sharing in their emotional experience. Empathy, coined from the German “Einfühlung” (feeling into), means getting into the pit with someone and truly understanding their perspective.
Now, take that same empathetic advice you’d give to others and apply it to yourself.
#3 – Seek Outside Perspective
You can’t see the label from inside the bottle—your own viewpoint of your situation will always be limited.
My recent overwhelm stemmed from business growth decisions. I had too many ideas and potential directions clouding my judgment. The solution? I scheduled meetings with two successful members of my mastermind group who could offer fresh perspective. Their outside view cut through my mental clutter and provided clear, actionable direction.
Transform Overwhelm Into Opportunity: Your Next Steps
Let’s take a moment to reflect:
What one unrealistic expectation could you adjust today that would make the biggest positive impact on your work and well-being?
Your Action Step: Schedule a 30-minute “perspective check” with a trusted mentor or peer this week. Ask them to help you identify your blind spots and prioritize your next move. Sometimes, an outside perspective can provide the clarity you need to move forward with confidence.
Until next time,
Kent
Sources
Hendricks, Gay, The Big Leap
Merriam Webster, Empathy
Photo by Malachi Cowie on Unsplash
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