Rhythms of Rest 4: “I Need a Vacation!”

Kent Murawski

Have you ever found yourself uttering the words, I need a vacation! Whether you’re burned out from work, overwhelmed with the sheer amount of activity in life, or you’ve just been going non-stop, vacationing on a semi-annual or annual basis is a must when it comes to finding a sustainable pace in life and a healthy Rhythm of Rest.

For the last several weeks, I’ve been sharing why you need a defined Rhythm of Rest – daily, weekly, and quarterly. Today I want to talk about your semi-annual or annual rhythm of rest – namely the reason we need vacations!

What is a Rhythm of Rest? It’s an intentional set of routines and practices that ensure you’re living at a sustainable and joyful pace rather than an unsustainable one that will surely lead to burnout.

You can find all the parts in the series at the bottom of this email.

I Need a Vacation (*sigh*)

Vacation, or “Holiday” as Europeans call it, is a time when we break away from our normal routines and do something that replenishes and recharges us. Our souls weren’t meant to go non-stop, not only on a daily and weekly basis, but once or twice a year, we need to break away from it all and just be.

Vacation could mean travel or staying at home – as long as it’s refreshing to you.

I like a mixture of the two. After all, if you have a family, traveling with kids can often feel like you’re just relocating family life somewhere else. That’s not to say it’s unimportant. Some of our best family memories happened on vacations. They are important to establish family identity and deepen our bonds with one another, but they are not always restful. That’s why so many people say, “I need a vacation” after they have returned home from vacation!

Our family still talks about this one year later. In 2018, we took our first (and so far only) trip to Disney as a family. Since we didn’t want to just do the bare minimum, we saved up for several years and went big. We booked a two-bedroom suite so we weren’t on top of each other. We did Universal and Disney (Harry Potter World was epic) with rest days at the pool in between. Then we ended the trip with a few days near Tampa, FL at the beach so we had some time to relax after the busyness of the amusement parks. It was one of our best family vacations. Why? For a lot of reasons but two things stand out to me. First, we didn’t pack it so full that we were exhausted by the end. Second, it was super fun!

In This Case, Division is Good

It’s helpful to think in terms of splitting up your time when it comes to vacations. If you get two weeks of vacation per year, try taking a week away and a week around home doing whatever it is you like to do or just do nothing at all if that’s what you prefer. Either way, this gives you time away at a place you enjoy, and time at home to just relax or do some things you’ve been wanting to do but haven’t had the time to do.

Here’s what our rhythm has been as of late:

  • A week off to visit family in the summer. Depending on your situation, it may be great or it may not always be fun, but it’s part of life.
  • A week away together as a family in the summer or February (destination decided upon by the family)
  • A week off at home in the summer to do a few family things, play some golf, and possibly do some projects around the house I’ve been wanting to tackle – like cleaning the basement after moving in six months ago!
  • A week off at home between Christmas and New Year. Not only is this a down time in our culture, but we usually need it by the end of the year. We stopped traveling to visit family during Christmas years ago so we could have our own traditions. And with both parents being divorced, four or five days always left someone feeling cheated of time and left us utterly exhausted.

Understand, these rhythms can change according to your season of life and family situation.

Date Your Spouse

One of the best pieces of advice I received about marriage and have done my best to adhere to is this: never stop dating your wife. That’s why I think it’s an absolute imperative to go away…alone…with your spouse at least once per year. Some people suggest you do more than this, but our family and financial situation has not allowed for that. Do what works best for you, but once a year away with your spouse should be a minimum. You need time together, to be married without your kids. That’s not to say it should be the only time you do that. I’m a strong advocate for a weekly or bi-weekly date night for married couples, but you also need an extended time away together for relational health.

Baby Steps

Vacation can be tough for some people, especially if it’s not a regular practice. That’s why you should start small. If you haven’t taken a vacation in a while, start with a long weekend or a one-week vacation. If you’ve done one week, try increasing it to two weeks. If you’ve done two weeks, maybe it’s time to think about doing a sabbatical! In this post by Michael Hyatt , he makes the case that everyone should take a sabbatical and gives you ideas on how to pitch it to your boss!

Here are some tips I’ve found to be helpful as you plan your vacations:

  1. Don’t go crazy. Some people like to try to jam everything into one vacation. We’ve taken the opposite approach. Here’s one example. In 2015, my wife and I decided to go to New York City for our 15th anniversary. Rather than move at a frenetic pace trying to see every tourist attraction in three days, we decided to take our time exploring a different part of the city each day. We did some research ahead of time to plan which parts of the city seemed interesting, but we also left room for spontaneity. On day one, we explored the High Line in lower Manhattan. It’s an above-ground railway track that they converted into a beautiful park. We meandered around that part of the city, had a relaxing lunch together, laid out in the sun by the Hudson River, and ended the evening looking at stars through a telescope on the High Line. It was a beautiful day – some planned, some unplanned.
  2. Give everyone a voice. We usually try to give everyone a voice in deciding upon family vacations. This gives everyone buy-in. After giving our input, we narrow it down to two or three options and we vote. By the way, I lost the last vote. We were thinking about a big family trip we wanted to do before my oldest son graduations and the two options were – 1) Taking a trip across the country with a camper or 2) Doing a missions trip to NYC near Christmas time, then spending 5-7 days doing some vacation there in the city afterwards. I voted to go out West, and most of the family overrode me!
  3. Give everyone a break. There should be enough space on a vacation to let everyone do things that are replenishing to them. Here’s one example. It’s better to go away for 2 or 3 days and eat out than it is to go away for a week and have to cook every day. That way whoever cooks (and let’s be honest, it’s usually mom), gets a break from the normal routine.
  4. Two-week minimum? Many people recommend being away for at least two weeks. They say if you go away for one week, by the time you start to relax, you need to pack up and go home. While I agree in some ways, it’s just not always possible to do that. We haven’t done that in a long time and yet, we have still enjoyed our vacations. When you have healthy daily, weekly, and quarterly rhythms of rest, vacations are an added bonus rather than a do or die.
  5. Don’t get in over your head. As much as I enjoy vacations, you shouldn’t go into debt to take one, and yet half of Millenials and Gen Z have gone into debt to fund summer travel at some point. It takes discipline to save money, and vacations aren’t cheap. The average cost of a vacation for a family of four is between $4100-$5100. That means you have to save $350-$425 per month in order to pull it off without going into debt. In the past, when we haven’t had a large budget for vacations, we’ve tried some of these things and they’ve been great:
    • Take a staycation and plan one or two fun things over the course of the week. Watch movies, get some special snacks, take some hikes, go to a nice dinner, take the day at a water park or amusement park. We’ve done all those things and it’s been a lot of fun.
    • Go away for 2-3 days, but stay local. We’ve had some wonderfully refreshing times doing mini-trips. To cut down on driving time, we’ve stayed local. It’s helpful that we are in the Boston Area, so Cape Cod has been a go-to for our mini-vacations.
    • If you know someone with a vacation house, tell them your situation and offer them less to rent their home.
    • Go in the off-season. Prices are always cheaper, but sometimes it’s tough with school schedules and such.

What are your vacation plans? It’s not too late to plan a staycation or mini-vacation this summer. It’s also not too early to start planning for next year. Sit down with yourself, your spouse, or your family and start talking about it. Then start putting money in the bank. You won’t regret it! 

Missed one? 

If you missed one, you can check out the rest of the series here:

*Photo by S Migaj on Unsplash

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By Kent Murawski August 21, 2025
51 degrees. 10 weeks out from my knee surgery, I am only able to bend my knee 51 degrees when it should be 90. I thought I'd be playing golf by now—instead, I'm scheduling my second surgery. Due to a buildup of scar tissue, I will need to have arthroscopic lysis of adhesions and closed manipulation. Translation: general anesthesia, a ⅜ inch incision, remove the excess scar tissue with an arthroscopic cutting device, and then manually bend my knee to 90 degrees. Fun-wow. My initial reaction was one of shock, anger, sadness, confusion, disappointment, and a profound sense of hopelessness. Since then, I’ve accepted it, found a new physical therapist, and moved on. But I’m still not happy about it. When was the last time you got news that made you want to punch a wall? Initially, after hearing the news of a second surgery, that’s how I felt—angry, sad, devastated, and hopeless. My honest fear was What if my leg never fully heals? But here's what I’ve learned about handling life's curveballs. Someone really needs to hear this. Why High Achievers Struggle Most with Disappointment It can be tough to work through bad news—especially for high achievers who highly value progress and productivity. We are often hardest on ourselves, and it’s easy to get stuck if we are always measuring forward against an ideal rather than backward from the place where we started. One thing we rarely do is allow ourselves time to grieve and process disappointments. The grief process isn't just for death—it applies to every loss, including business failures, missed promotions, health setbacks, and relationship disappointments. In the face of my disappointing news, I took 24 hours to mope, grieve, express my anger, and then move to acceptance. With less consequential setbacks, decide how long you need to grieve (sometimes you may not know, but you can always add time if need be), and then move on. Here's what most leaders miss: Before acceptance comes an acknowledgment of pain and loss. Professor Terry Wardle wisely said, "Life is a series of ungrieved losses. Every loss in life demands an appropriate season of grieving. Loss is meant to be grieved, and when we fail to grieve losses, that loss internalizes." Without taking time to grieve, you will be tempted to keep going back there because you didn’t properly grieve it in the first place. But grieving isn’t just a solitary act; it involves other people. Professor Wardle goes on to say, “Grieving loss begins with finding a safe environment with people who are non-condemning, empathetic, who are confidential, and who finally give you the permission to say what’s inside and say it like it is.” In my case, that happened with my family, a few close friends, and my counselor. Who are your safe people when disappointment hits? The Hidden Cost of Staying Stuck Staying too long in your grief can also be damaging, leading to bitterness, cynicism, and perpetual disappointment—the leadership killers that destroy confidence, teams, and marriages. But how do you know when it’s time to move on? With less consequential things, it’s usually a choice, but the greater the grief, the longer the process, especially when it involves other people. You'll know you've processed it properly when you can talk about the disappointment without your chest tightening, when you can make decisions about your future without that loss controlling your choices. No, I’m still not happy about it, but taking time to grieve has helped me accept my second surgery and move on. Since it can’t be changed, my only choice is to face it head-on and prepare mentally and physically. Your REST Check Most high achievers simply push through disappointment and get back to work, but the truth is that unprocessed grief can become internalized bitterness, which will ultimately sabotage your life and leadership. If you skip the grieving process, you'll carry that disappointment into every relationship, every future decision, every team meeting, every strategic planning session. But if you give yourself permission to properly grieve, you'll develop emotional resilience. You'll make decisions from wisdom, not fear. You'll become the leader who helps others navigate their setbacks because you've learned to move through your own. Properly processing your grief determines whether setbacks will make you bitter or better. This week's Rhythm of REST : When disappointment hits, give yourself a specific timeframe to feel it fully before moving to acceptance. Twenty-four hours for smaller setbacks, longer for major losses. Find your safe people. Process it properly. What's one disappointment you've been "powering through" that actually needs to be grieved? Until next time, Kent PS - I know I didn’t finish telling you Brandon’s story, but I felt someone needed to hear this. Next time, I’ll share more about Brandon and what Rhythms of REST actually means. Whenever you’re ready, there are three ways I can help you… Transform those anxiety-filled, rushed mornings into your foundation for daily success with my Win the Morning, Win the Day! Minicourse Schedule a Discovery Call to find out if executive coaching is for you - for business owners or executives Catalyze your organization - invite me to do a keynote or workshop Sources How the Five Stages of Grief Can Help Process a Loss , Very Well Mind 5 Stages of Grief: How to Cope with Loss , West Georgia Wellness Center CNLP 309: Terry Wardle on Why So Many Leaders Cave Under the Pressures of Leadership, Why Leaders Implode Morally, and How to Grieve Your Leadership Losses
By Kent Murawski August 20, 2025
Brandon, a successful CEO of an education company, hadn't taken a day off in years. The company was doing fine—growing revenue, adding new accounts, and preparing to sell. But when we first talked, he couldn't remember a thought walking from one room to the next. Until we started working together. 2-3 months later, he went from working 12-15 hours per day to 2-4 hours per day. Today, he is a different person. Here's what I've learned from Brandon and dozens of other high achievers: The problem isn't that you're not productive enough. The problem is you're running a marathon at sprint pace, and your body, relationships, clarity, and joy are paying the price. You don't need another productivity hack. You need sustainable rhythms. That's why I'm shifting this newsletter from Catalyst to something more focused: Rhythms of REST . Every other Sunday, I'll share what I'm learning about how successful people actually sustain their success without burning out. Real frameworks. Real stories. Real results like Brandon's. Then during off weeks, I'll check in to see how it's going. If you're already subscribed, you're good to go. Just watch for Rhythms of REST starting this Sunday, August 24, 2025. Because here's the thing—you can keep pushing until something breaks, or you can learn to move differently. Brandon chose differently. His company didn't suffer—it thrived. He's no longer overwhelmed and anxious. His faith has grown tremendously. And his workload feels more than manageable. What would be possible if you chose differently, too? Hit reply and tell me: What's one thing you'd do if you had 8 extra hours in your week? I read every response. Until next time, Kent
By Kent Murawski July 28, 2025
When was the last time you ended a summer feeling more energized than when it started? ​​Summer brings changes for many of us—minimizing our motivation to work, disrupting work routines, and altering schedules. With summertime often comes a desire to slow down, and yet, we're not always sure how to do that. This week is my last new post for a little while (though I may resend some popular posts from the 2024-2025 season). I’m pressing pause to create space and pour my energy into finishing my new book. But stay tuned—when I’m back in six weeks, the newsletter will be refreshed with some exciting updates you won’t want to miss! Read to the end to find out more. In this week's edition of Catalyst, I want to share 3 ideas to help you effectively navigate summer. 3 Ways to Master Summer Without Burning Out 1) Stop and Think (Reflect) Socrates famously said, "The unexamined life is not worth living." For Socrates, life was more than pursuing the things that most men occupy themselves with, things like wealth, household affairs, status and position, and political clubs and factions. He believed that life only has value and meaning when we question what we think and know, and by more deeply understanding ourselves and others. The beginning of summer is an ideal time for reflection, and we all tend to occupy ourselves with the things Socrates talked about more than we probably care to admit. Taking a reflection day at the end of each quarter (consider removing "or trimester" for conciseness) can be an effective way to navigate seasonal changes. Finding a place far enough removed from your normal day-to-day life will help you get into a different headspace. A friend of mine often says: Change of pace + change of place = change of perspective. I've used hotels, monasteries, or even a beautiful outdoor location if the weather permits. Here are a few questions you might want to ask: How am I feeling spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically? How are my closest relationships doing? Am I living out my core values? Is my life moving in a direction I feel good about? What do I need to change or adjust? Here are a few ideas for how to conduct a reflection day: Prayer, meditation, or silence Review your biggest wins and assess your goals from the previous quarter Work on high-impact projects that require focus Preview the upcoming quarter and set your Big 3 goals: personal, marriage/family, work/business 2) Cut the Non-Essentials (Reevaluate) Both my wife and I work, so when summer arrives, we need to re-evaluate our schedules to accommodate our twelve-year-old son. In the past, I've made the mistake of trying to keep the same workload despite being home with him two days a week. I ended up frustrated all summer long, living in the tension of wanting to spend more time with him while trying to carry the same workload. Summer requires me to pare down my work roles to the essentials: Writing (currently working on a new book) Executive coaching (6-8 coaching clients) Relationship building and outreach Necessary administration (keeping this to 30% or less of my responsibilities) Moving forward, I will probably keep things this way. It feels more sustainable than the unrealistic expectations I previously held myself to. Once you define your key roles and responsibilities, the question becomes how to achieve better work-life integration not work-life balance. I use the Big 3 System. Choose only three big things to focus on at one time—quarterly, weekly, and daily. That's right, just three. Those three things are usually a combination of personal, marriage/family, and work. Each quarter, I typically choose 1 personal goal, 1 marriage and family goal, and 1-3 work goals, depending on the quarter. Here are a few questions to consider. If you have a partner, discuss them together: How does your schedule change in the summer? What work-related responsibilities and expectations do you need to adjust? What are 3 things you want to do this summer? What do you NOT want to do? 3) Choose What Matters Most (Rest) Paring down expectations isn't only for work, it applies to rest, too. Because it's summer, there is the temptation to want to fit in everything (—vacation, visit family, trips, fun, etc). In the past, we would try to do so much that by the time fall rolled around, we were exhausted. Last year, out of necessity, we planned a staycation instead of going away. It was one of the best vacations we've had in a long time. And besides, summers in New England are gorgeous! We went to see a movie, ate out, went to Six Flags, had a beach day, and took days in between just to relax. We loved it so much, we're doing a staycation again this year! Write down your list of summer expectations and plans. Now, cross out everything that feels exhausting and unfun. Don't try to fit everything in this summer. Pick a couple of things that feel life-giving and focus on those. Your Move Reflect. Re-evaluate. Rest. Choose one of the three and work on it in the next 24 hours. Plan a day of reflection. Have a conversation with your spouse. Choose how you're going to rest this summer. I don't care which one it is, just take action. Here’s one question to consider: What would you stop doing this summer if no one was watching? Most people think summer is about maximizing experiences and fitting everything in, but the truth is that the most productive leaders use summer to strategically subtract, not add. They understand that rest isn't what you do after the work is done—it's what makes the work sustainable in the first place. You've got this.
By Kent Murawski July 23, 2025
When was the last time you ended a summer feeling more energized than when it started? ​​Summer brings changes for many of us—minimizing our motivation to work, disrupting work routines, and altering schedules. With summertime often comes a desire to slow down, and yet, we're not always sure how to do that. This week is my last new post for a little while (though I may resend some popular posts from the 2024-2025 season). I’m pressing pause to create space and pour my energy into finishing my new book. But stay tuned—when I’m back in six weeks, the newsletter will be refreshed with some exciting updates you won’t want to miss! Read to the end to find out more. In this week's edition of Catalyst, I want to share 3 ideas to help you effectively navigate summer. 3 Ways to Master Summer Without Burning Out 1) Stop and Think (Reflect) Socrates famously said, "The unexamined life is not worth living." For Socrates, life was more than pursuing the things that most men occupy themselves with, things like wealth, household affairs, status and position, and political clubs and factions. He believed that life only has value and meaning when we question what we think and know, and by more deeply understanding ourselves and others. The beginning of summer is an ideal time for reflection, and we all tend to occupy ourselves with the things Socrates talked about more than we probably care to admit. Taking a reflection day at the end of each quarter (consider removing "or trimester" for conciseness) can be an effective way to navigate seasonal changes. Finding a place far enough removed from your normal day-to-day life will help you get into a different headspace. A friend of mine often says: Change of pace + change of place = change of perspective. I've used hotels, monasteries, or even a beautiful outdoor location if the weather permits. Here are a few questions you might want to ask: How am I feeling spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically? How are my closest relationships doing? Am I living out my core values? Is my life moving in a direction I feel good about? What do I need to change or adjust? Here are a few ideas for how to conduct a reflection day: Prayer, meditation, or silence Review your biggest wins and assess your goals from the previous quarter Work on high-impact projects that require focus Preview the upcoming quarter and set your Big 3 goals: personal, marriage/family, work/business 2) Cut the Non-Essentials (Reevaluate) Both my wife and I work, so when summer arrives, we need to re-evaluate our schedules to accommodate our twelve-year-old son. In the past, I've made the mistake of trying to keep the same workload despite being home with him two days a week. I ended up frustrated all summer long, living in the tension of wanting to spend more time with him while trying to carry the same workload. Summer requires me to pare down my work roles to the essentials: Writing (currently working on a new book) Executive coaching (6-8 coaching clients) Relationship building and outreach Necessary administration (keeping this to 30% or less of my responsibilities) Moving forward, I will probably keep things this way. It feels more sustainable than the unrealistic expectations I previously held myself to. Once you define your key roles and responsibilities, the question becomes how to achieve better work-life integration not work-life balance. I use the Big 3 System. Choose only three big things to focus on at one time—quarterly, weekly, and daily. That's right, just three. Those three things are usually a combination of personal, marriage/family, and work. Each quarter, I typically choose 1 personal goal, 1 marriage and family goal, and 1-3 work goals, depending on the quarter. Here are a few questions to consider. If you have a partner, discuss them together: How does your schedule change in the summer? What work-related responsibilities and expectations do you need to adjust? What are 3 things you want to do this summer? What do you NOT want to do? 3) Choose What Matters Most (Rest) Paring down expectations isn't only for work, it applies to rest, too. Because it's summer, there is the temptation to want to fit in everything (—vacation, visit family, trips, fun, etc). In the past, we would try to do so much that by the time fall rolled around, we were exhausted. Last year, out of necessity, we planned a staycation instead of going away. It was one of the best vacations we've had in a long time. And besides, summers in New England are gorgeous! We went to see a movie, ate out, went to Six Flags, had a beach day, and took days in between just to relax. We loved it so much, we're doing a staycation again this year! Write down your list of summer expectations and plans. Now, cross out everything that feels exhausting and unfun. Don't try to fit everything in this summer. Pick a couple of things that feel life-giving and focus on those. Your Move Reflect. Re-evaluate. Rest. Choose one of the three and work on it in the next 24 hours. Plan a day of reflection. Have a conversation with your spouse. Choose how you're going to rest this summer. I don't care which one it is, just take action. Here’s one question to consider: What would you stop doing this summer if no one was watching? Most people think summer is about maximizing experiences and fitting everything in, but the truth is that the most productive leaders use summer to strategically subtract, not add. They understand that rest isn't what you do after the work is done—it's what makes the work sustainable in the first place. You've got this. Until next time, Kent
By Kent Murawski May 26, 2025
“Should I end this?” were the last words I said before collapsing to the ground in excruciating pain. The only thing I ended that day was my basketball career ⛹️! On Sunday, May 18, 2025, I ruptured my patella tendon playing basketball with my boys. We were playing a game of P.I.G., and it was […]
By Kent Murawski May 16, 2025
“You’re not going to become a monk, are you?”  My wife asked me this after I excitedly returned from a week-long retreat to a Trappist monastery and my growing fascination with monastic rhythms.  The obvious answer is no, since I’m neither single nor celibate It began the previous week when my twelve-year-old son and I […]
By Kent Murawski May 7, 2025
I always thought the big decisions were what shaped my life trajectory, but my 50th birthday celebration revealed something way more interesting—it’s actually the tiny, everyday choices that determine where you ultimately end up. It was the most meaningful birthday I’ve ever had.  Fair warning, this is a long one, but it will be worth […]
By Kent Murawski March 19, 2025
Your capacity to recognize when to pause may be more valuable than knowing when to push. Lately, I haven’t had anything to write, which is a rare occurrence. Sure, I could try to pound something out or pull some unused content out of the archives (which I have tons of), but here’s what I’ve discovered: […]
By Kent Murawski March 6, 2025
How are you? Your answer to this question reveals more about your future success and well-being than any strategic plan. We often wear busyness as a badge of honor. Ask ten people how they are doing, and nine out of ten times the answer will be, “busy.” That’s not the way things ought to be. […]
By Kent Murawski January 30, 2025
The weight of unrealistic self-expectations can feel crushing, especially at the start of a new year. January is not even over, and I’m already feeling overwhelmed.  It’s often said that we can be our own worst bosses or that the most challenging person to lead is the person in the mirror.  What do you do […]