Rhythms of Life 5: Lean Into Your Limitations

Kent Murawski

Limitations can spark creativity, reveal opportunities, and force us to focus on what matters most. Here’s why…

We all have limits. Take time for example. Once we factor in things like sleep, the amount of television we watch, and how much time we spend on our smartphones, we have less than we might think!

No one is unlimited.

The same is true for relationships. We can only cultivate so many. 

In my last post, Who Will Bleed with You? I revealed three secrets to finding and cultivating those in your inner circle:

  1. Identify the people who will bleed with you
  2. Clarify your roles
  3. Invest Sweat Equity

Why does it matter? Because your inner circle relationships are the most valuable people in your life and the people who will shape you the most! Today we will hit #2, clarify your roles, and by the end, you should have a clear picture of which relationships you need to invest in and whether or not you are relationally overloaded.

This is a continuation of a series called Rhythms of Life. A Rhythm of Life is a way of life that provides structure and enables us to thrive and be whole in ALL of life rather than just ONE part. Here are the four core rhythms as I’ve defined them. We are currently on “Relational”:

  1. R – We are RELATIONAL beings
  2. E – We are EMOTIONAL beings
  3. S – We are SPIRITUAL beings
  4. T – We are TANGIBLE or physical beings

If you missed one, you can access the whole Rhythms of Life series from here.

Lean Into Your Limitations

Limitations are a normal part of life, and while I find them extremely uncomfortable at times, over the years, I’ve come to see them as beneficial.

In order to find and cultivate our most important relationships, first, we need to clarify our roles. 

Many people think it’s impossible to have more than 5-7 major roles and stay healthy and balanced.

I tend to agree. 

In order to clarify our most important and life-giving roles and know which relationships need time and attention, first, ask:

W ho are the key people in my life and what roles do I play?

You may be a husband or wife, friend, mentor, boss, business partner, father or mother, pastor, coach, or some other role.

And some roles require more attention than others.

This simple exercise by author Stephen Macchia helps will help you evaluate how many roles we are fulfilling and how fulfilling those roles are to our lives:

  1. List all your key relationships (names) and the role you play in each (father or mother, brother or sister, boss, best friend, colleague). Some relationships carry multiple roles, but it can become an issue if they fulfill too many. For example, if someone is your friend, your boss, and your confidant, this can get complicated. List multiple roles next to more in-depth or complex relationships.
  2. Place a qualitative number (1, unhealthy, to 5, healthy) next to each key relationship.
  3. Place a “+” sign next to the roles that are most life-giving for you and a “-” sign next to the roles that are most draining, or a “=” sign next to the ones that are neutral. This is a good time to ask yourself if there are investments you need to make in any of those relationships.
  4. From the list, identify your five to seven most important roles (in order of priority) with key relationships named in each. If you have more than seven roles, prioritize the remaining roles and determine if any can be eliminated or minimized for a better life balance.

This exercise can help you further clarify your inner circle, but it also can help you determine if you are relationally overloaded.

Making the Tough Call

Life is full of tough choices, and your relationships are no different. Now that you’ve figured out how many roles you are fulfilling and which of them are the most life-giving, it’s time to make some potentially difficult decisions.

If you fulfilling more than 7 roles in your life, which ones may need to go so you can focus on the most important ones? 

I’ll admit, I’m not there yet myself, but that’s what I’m working toward that end.

What do you find most difficult about this exercise?

Once you’ve identified your inner circle and have clarified your roles, how do you cultivate those relationships? That will be the subject of the next post.

Endnotes

¹ Macchia, Stephen A. Crafting a Rule of Life , 30-31

* Photo by Kate Kalvach on Unsplash

Share this Post:

By Kent Murawski July 28, 2025
When was the last time you ended a summer feeling more energized than when it started? ​​Summer brings changes for many of us—minimizing our motivation to work, disrupting work routines, and altering schedules. With summertime often comes a desire to slow down, and yet, we're not always sure how to do that. This week is my last new post for a little while (though I may resend some popular posts from the 2024-2025 season). I’m pressing pause to create space and pour my energy into finishing my new book. But stay tuned—when I’m back in six weeks, the newsletter will be refreshed with some exciting updates you won’t want to miss! Read to the end to find out more. In this week's edition of Catalyst, I want to share 3 ideas to help you effectively navigate summer. 3 Ways to Master Summer Without Burning Out 1) Stop and Think (Reflect) Socrates famously said, "The unexamined life is not worth living." For Socrates, life was more than pursuing the things that most men occupy themselves with, things like wealth, household affairs, status and position, and political clubs and factions. He believed that life only has value and meaning when we question what we think and know, and by more deeply understanding ourselves and others. The beginning of summer is an ideal time for reflection, and we all tend to occupy ourselves with the things Socrates talked about more than we probably care to admit. Taking a reflection day at the end of each quarter (consider removing "or trimester" for conciseness) can be an effective way to navigate seasonal changes. Finding a place far enough removed from your normal day-to-day life will help you get into a different headspace. A friend of mine often says: Change of pace + change of place = change of perspective. I've used hotels, monasteries, or even a beautiful outdoor location if the weather permits. Here are a few questions you might want to ask: How am I feeling spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically? How are my closest relationships doing? Am I living out my core values? Is my life moving in a direction I feel good about? What do I need to change or adjust? Here are a few ideas for how to conduct a reflection day: Prayer, meditation, or silence Review your biggest wins and assess your goals from the previous quarter Work on high-impact projects that require focus Preview the upcoming quarter and set your Big 3 goals: personal, marriage/family, work/business 2) Cut the Non-Essentials (Reevaluate) Both my wife and I work, so when summer arrives, we need to re-evaluate our schedules to accommodate our twelve-year-old son. In the past, I've made the mistake of trying to keep the same workload despite being home with him two days a week. I ended up frustrated all summer long, living in the tension of wanting to spend more time with him while trying to carry the same workload. Summer requires me to pare down my work roles to the essentials: Writing (currently working on a new book) Executive coaching (6-8 coaching clients) Relationship building and outreach Necessary administration (keeping this to 30% or less of my responsibilities) Moving forward, I will probably keep things this way. It feels more sustainable than the unrealistic expectations I previously held myself to. Once you define your key roles and responsibilities, the question becomes how to achieve better work-life integration not work-life balance. I use the Big 3 System. Choose only three big things to focus on at one time—quarterly, weekly, and daily. That's right, just three. Those three things are usually a combination of personal, marriage/family, and work. Each quarter, I typically choose 1 personal goal, 1 marriage and family goal, and 1-3 work goals, depending on the quarter. Here are a few questions to consider. If you have a partner, discuss them together: How does your schedule change in the summer? What work-related responsibilities and expectations do you need to adjust? What are 3 things you want to do this summer? What do you NOT want to do? 3) Choose What Matters Most (Rest) Paring down expectations isn't only for work, it applies to rest, too. Because it's summer, there is the temptation to want to fit in everything (—vacation, visit family, trips, fun, etc). In the past, we would try to do so much that by the time fall rolled around, we were exhausted. Last year, out of necessity, we planned a staycation instead of going away. It was one of the best vacations we've had in a long time. And besides, summers in New England are gorgeous! We went to see a movie, ate out, went to Six Flags, had a beach day, and took days in between just to relax. We loved it so much, we're doing a staycation again this year! Write down your list of summer expectations and plans. Now, cross out everything that feels exhausting and unfun. Don't try to fit everything in this summer. Pick a couple of things that feel life-giving and focus on those. Your Move Reflect. Re-evaluate. Rest. Choose one of the three and work on it in the next 24 hours. Plan a day of reflection. Have a conversation with your spouse. Choose how you're going to rest this summer. I don't care which one it is, just take action. Here’s one question to consider: What would you stop doing this summer if no one was watching? Most people think summer is about maximizing experiences and fitting everything in, but the truth is that the most productive leaders use summer to strategically subtract, not add. They understand that rest isn't what you do after the work is done—it's what makes the work sustainable in the first place. You've got this.
By Kent Murawski July 23, 2025
When was the last time you ended a summer feeling more energized than when it started? ​​Summer brings changes for many of us—minimizing our motivation to work, disrupting work routines, and altering schedules. With summertime often comes a desire to slow down, and yet, we're not always sure how to do that. This week is my last new post for a little while (though I may resend some popular posts from the 2024-2025 season). I’m pressing pause to create space and pour my energy into finishing my new book. But stay tuned—when I’m back in six weeks, the newsletter will be refreshed with some exciting updates you won’t want to miss! Read to the end to find out more. In this week's edition of Catalyst, I want to share 3 ideas to help you effectively navigate summer. 3 Ways to Master Summer Without Burning Out 1) Stop and Think (Reflect) Socrates famously said, "The unexamined life is not worth living." For Socrates, life was more than pursuing the things that most men occupy themselves with, things like wealth, household affairs, status and position, and political clubs and factions. He believed that life only has value and meaning when we question what we think and know, and by more deeply understanding ourselves and others. The beginning of summer is an ideal time for reflection, and we all tend to occupy ourselves with the things Socrates talked about more than we probably care to admit. Taking a reflection day at the end of each quarter (consider removing "or trimester" for conciseness) can be an effective way to navigate seasonal changes. Finding a place far enough removed from your normal day-to-day life will help you get into a different headspace. A friend of mine often says: Change of pace + change of place = change of perspective. I've used hotels, monasteries, or even a beautiful outdoor location if the weather permits. Here are a few questions you might want to ask: How am I feeling spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically? How are my closest relationships doing? Am I living out my core values? Is my life moving in a direction I feel good about? What do I need to change or adjust? Here are a few ideas for how to conduct a reflection day: Prayer, meditation, or silence Review your biggest wins and assess your goals from the previous quarter Work on high-impact projects that require focus Preview the upcoming quarter and set your Big 3 goals: personal, marriage/family, work/business 2) Cut the Non-Essentials (Reevaluate) Both my wife and I work, so when summer arrives, we need to re-evaluate our schedules to accommodate our twelve-year-old son. In the past, I've made the mistake of trying to keep the same workload despite being home with him two days a week. I ended up frustrated all summer long, living in the tension of wanting to spend more time with him while trying to carry the same workload. Summer requires me to pare down my work roles to the essentials: Writing (currently working on a new book) Executive coaching (6-8 coaching clients) Relationship building and outreach Necessary administration (keeping this to 30% or less of my responsibilities) Moving forward, I will probably keep things this way. It feels more sustainable than the unrealistic expectations I previously held myself to. Once you define your key roles and responsibilities, the question becomes how to achieve better work-life integration not work-life balance. I use the Big 3 System. Choose only three big things to focus on at one time—quarterly, weekly, and daily. That's right, just three. Those three things are usually a combination of personal, marriage/family, and work. Each quarter, I typically choose 1 personal goal, 1 marriage and family goal, and 1-3 work goals, depending on the quarter. Here are a few questions to consider. If you have a partner, discuss them together: How does your schedule change in the summer? What work-related responsibilities and expectations do you need to adjust? What are 3 things you want to do this summer? What do you NOT want to do? 3) Choose What Matters Most (Rest) Paring down expectations isn't only for work, it applies to rest, too. Because it's summer, there is the temptation to want to fit in everything (—vacation, visit family, trips, fun, etc). In the past, we would try to do so much that by the time fall rolled around, we were exhausted. Last year, out of necessity, we planned a staycation instead of going away. It was one of the best vacations we've had in a long time. And besides, summers in New England are gorgeous! We went to see a movie, ate out, went to Six Flags, had a beach day, and took days in between just to relax. We loved it so much, we're doing a staycation again this year! Write down your list of summer expectations and plans. Now, cross out everything that feels exhausting and unfun. Don't try to fit everything in this summer. Pick a couple of things that feel life-giving and focus on those. Your Move Reflect. Re-evaluate. Rest. Choose one of the three and work on it in the next 24 hours. Plan a day of reflection. Have a conversation with your spouse. Choose how you're going to rest this summer. I don't care which one it is, just take action. Here’s one question to consider: What would you stop doing this summer if no one was watching? Most people think summer is about maximizing experiences and fitting everything in, but the truth is that the most productive leaders use summer to strategically subtract, not add. They understand that rest isn't what you do after the work is done—it's what makes the work sustainable in the first place. You've got this.
By Kent Murawski May 26, 2025
“Should I end this?” were the last words I said before collapsing to the ground in excruciating pain. The only thing I ended that day was my basketball career ⛹️! On Sunday, May 18, 2025, I ruptured my patella tendon playing basketball with my boys. We were playing a game of P.I.G., and it was […]
By Kent Murawski May 16, 2025
“You’re not going to become a monk, are you?”  My wife asked me this after I excitedly returned from a week-long retreat to a Trappist monastery and my growing fascination with monastic rhythms.  The obvious answer is no, since I’m neither single nor celibate It began the previous week when my twelve-year-old son and I […]
By Kent Murawski May 7, 2025
I always thought the big decisions were what shaped my life trajectory, but my 50th birthday celebration revealed something way more interesting—it’s actually the tiny, everyday choices that determine where you ultimately end up. It was the most meaningful birthday I’ve ever had.  Fair warning, this is a long one, but it will be worth […]
By Kent Murawski March 19, 2025
Your capacity to recognize when to pause may be more valuable than knowing when to push. Lately, I haven’t had anything to write, which is a rare occurrence. Sure, I could try to pound something out or pull some unused content out of the archives (which I have tons of), but here’s what I’ve discovered: […]
By Kent Murawski March 6, 2025
How are you? Your answer to this question reveals more about your future success and well-being than any strategic plan. We often wear busyness as a badge of honor. Ask ten people how they are doing, and nine out of ten times the answer will be, “busy.” That’s not the way things ought to be. […]
By Kent Murawski January 30, 2025
The weight of unrealistic self-expectations can feel crushing, especially at the start of a new year. January is not even over, and I’m already feeling overwhelmed.  It’s often said that we can be our own worst bosses or that the most challenging person to lead is the person in the mirror.  What do you do […]
By Kent Murawski January 16, 2025
Failed dreams can become your greatest victories. While dreams are essential for hope and growth, unfulfilled dreams can breed disillusionment. Yet what appears to be a “failed” dream often reveals itself as an opportunity. Barbara Corcoran, the renowned Shark Tank Investor, once said, “All my best successes came on the heels of failure.” This wisdom […]
By Kent Murawski January 4, 2025
Did you know that 92% of people give up on their goals by January 12th? Pretty shocking, right? I used to be part of that statistic. Every year, I’d write down my goals with excitement, only to find them collecting dust by February. It was frustrating and, honestly, a bit embarrassing. But then I discovered […]