Are you feeling overwhelmed right now? Change and transition are happening all around us. Wars and rumors of wars fill the air. Uncertainty about covid still looms around every corner. Anxiety seems to be at an all-time high. But beating the feeling of overwhelm is possible…
I define “overwhelm” as a physically and emotionally taxing season where you feel out of control…kind of like you are drowning. In the end, we don’t have much control anyway, except over ourselves and our own actions, but overwhelm feels like you have even less control than usual! It could be due to a difficult life transition, a crisis of some sort, relational tension, financial stress, job stress, sickness or a physical ailment, or some other difficult life circumstance.
I’m there right now. While I’m doing my best to be an attentive husband and an engaged father of three kids, including two teenagers (enough said), there is a lot happening. For instance, both my wife and I are in career transitions. She is finishing her certification as a doula and seeking to take on clients, and in addition to being a pastor, I am training for a new part-time job as a business consultant (which by the way I’m very excited about). I’m also continuing to write and pursue my coaching business. Add to the mix some other difficult life circumstances, and it feels very overwhelming.
The results of overwhelm can be varied: worry, anxiety, grief, despair, discouragement, or other negative emotions. First, understand, negative emotions aren’t necessarily bad. They actually tell us something is going on. It’s what we do with those emotions that matters, and we can either handle them in healthy beneficial ways or unhealthy damaging ways.
What do you do when life feels overwhelming? Today, I want to share with you some practical and helpful ways to handle overwhelm. In the next post, I’ll share some of the unhelpful ways I’ve tried to deal with overwhelm so you can learn from my mistakes.
6 Ways to Beat the Feeling of Overwhelm
1. Get quiet
Tune out the noise. Take some time to be alone. Think. Reflect. Identify and process your feelings. Write and journal. When I’m feeling overwhelmed, it always helps me to clear my head and get some perspective. You may also want to consider finding a place that’s different from your normal environment. Whether that’s a walk, hike, retreat center, art museum, or a park you love, a change of place often leads to a change of perspective. In fact, I’m at St. Benedicts Abbey doing a day-long retreat as I write this! With all that’s going on, I just needed a change of pace without all the normal distractions of life.
2. Be a lifelong learner
Life is a good teacher if we allow it to be. Put yourself in a posture of learning and ask, What can I learn from this experience? How is it going to make me a better person? Instead of trying to get out of it as soon as possible, lean in, sit in the pain rather than ignoring it. The best people I know have gone through hard things and come out as better people.
3. Get raw, get real, get honest
Process your thoughts, out loud, with a few people you love and trust. It may be raw; it may get visceral, but we all need people we can be real with. People who will get in the pit with us. People who will be compassionate and empathetic. And people who won’t allow us to wallow in it the pain but help us climb out when it’s time.
4. Release the pressure
Many of the homes in the Boston area have old steam-based heating systems with radiators. As the pressure builds, you can hear little wisps of steam coming from the pressure release valve. This is a good lesson. We all need to find productive ways to let off a little steam. Here are a few things that work for me:
- Exercise. I do it 5-6 days a week, whether I feel like it or not.
- Plan something fun. Fun replenishes our emotional tank.
- Spend time with someone you enjoy. Life-giving relationships will help you feel seen and heard and walk away feeling encouraged.
5. Rest
Overwhelm can take a lot out of us. It’s emotionally and physically taxing. Try to get as much physical rest as you can. Go to bed early. Sleep in if you can. Take a nap during the day. Have a clear daily stop time from your work and smartphone. Beyond physical rest, we all need a weekly day of rest. On this day, I cease my normal activities. I read, walk, enjoy good food, take time with my family, and do things that are life-giving and replenishing. Remember, we are human beings, not human doings. We were not meant to go non-stop.
6. Go back to the source
I don’t know who or what your source of life or strength is, and I’m not going to push my beliefs on you. I will simply say that in tough times, in times of overwhelm, going back to your source is of utmost importance.
For me, it’s my relationship with God. When hard things happen, I don’t typically blame Him or get angry with Him, though I have done that in the past. Some people scoff and say, “I’ve never been mad at God!” Good for you. That’s not my story. I’ve been mad at God plenty of times, and I’ve always known that God is big enough to handle my anger.
And He hasn’t disowned me yet.
Now, rather than get angry at Him, I turn to Him. I trust Him. I believe He is good – through and through. It may sound cliche, but I find Him to be especially near and present in difficult times. And for me this is a source of great strength and peace.
What’s Your Plan?
Overwhelm can bring out the best and the worst in us. That’s why I advocate having an intentional plan for overwhelm. Or better yet, begin to implement some of these life rhythms now. That way when overwhelm inevitably comes, and it will, you can tweak and adjust your rhythms rather than start from scratch in the middle of the problem or crisis. When we are not prepared for it, we can tend to default to negative ways of dealing with it.
What is one healthy way you could start dealing with overwhelm right now? What about sketching out a rough draft of your plan? Then talk it through with someone you trust. The same applies whether you already feel overwhelmed or you’re just being proactive.
In my next post, I will share some of the mistakes I’ve made through the years in dealing with overwhelm.
What are some rhythms and practices you’ve used to combat overwhelm? Share in the comments…
Photo by Christian Erfurt on Unsplash
