You know that feeling of overwhelm you are experiencing right now? These 4 things will make it go from bad to worse.
I define “overwhelm” as a physically and emotionally taxing season where you feel out of control…kind of like you are drowning.
In my last post, I shared 6 ways to beat the feeling of overwhelm. If you haven’t read it, you may want to start there.
It’s also possible to make overwhelm worse if you don’t handle it in a healthy and productive way. God knows I’ve done that before! This is my attempt to keep you from making the same mistakes I’ve made over the years. Doing these four things can cause you to plunge deeper into a cycle of constant overwhelm.
4 Things That Make Overwhelm Go from Bad to Worse
1. Overindulgence
When things feel overwhelming, we tend to want to numb out and overindulge. Whether that’s binging on Netflix or emotional eating, things like this can be easy go-to’s. That is one of the reasons people get caught in addictive or compulsive cycles.
When we are experiencing negative emotions, it’s normal to want to find something to numb the pain. But it’s a temporary solution at best, and sometimes it’s downright destructive.
Once upon a time, I indulged in pornography when dealing with overwhelm. It started when I was young, around twelve years old. Growing up in a dysfunctional family, it was easy to turn to that when I was feeling emotional pain. But it quickly became a downward spiral and led to more and more dysfunction. It eased the pain for a moment, but there was no lasting effect. The only answer was to indulge again. And so the cycle repeats. To break the cycle, we must start by admitting we have a problem. That’s AA 101. That’s how it happened for me. Once I was able to admit I had a problem, I was able to start dealing with the pain in healthy ways.
I sometimes still binge on Netflix or eat to dull my emotional pain, but I’m learning to better recognize and confront the negative feelings when they surface instead of pushing them down.
2. Overwork
Some people throw themselves into their work to numb or ignore the pain. I used to do this as well. I thought the answer to everything was working harder. Until I couldn’t anymore because I was burned out. At some point, your effectiveness decreases and your work produces diminishing returns anyway. I find I have about 4 good hours of deep work in me per day. After that, I focus the remaining 2-4 hours on tasks that don’t require much mental acuity.
Working more or harder is not going to help you get out of overwhelm, and there is a good chance it will make it worse.
3. A lack of routine
While overworking is unhelpful, keeping some sort of routine when things feel overwhelming can be a good thing. It gives you structure and helps you not focus all your attention on things you can’t control. I find when I’m feeling overwhelmed, too much margin can be bad. While you may need to change up your routine – especially if you’ve taken on too much – a lack of routine and structure can leave you feeling aimless and lead you right back to overindulgence.
4. Isolation
While some honest reflection can lead to moments of clarity, if you find yourself starting to wallow or feel sorry for yourself, it’s time to switch gears. Reach out to your spouse, a mentor, a counselor, or a good friend to ask for help. In the past, I’ve waited too long to reach out and as a result, stayed in “Wallowland” way longer than I needed to.
It’s easy to get trapped in a negative thought cycle. It’s in isolation that we are most prone to believe lies about ourselves because no one is there to tell us otherwise.
If you can’t get out of the hole on your own, it’s time to ask for help.
Climbing Out of the Hole of Overwhelm
What are your negative defaults when you are feeling overwhelmed? How are you going to keep from going there? Who do you need to tell?
Do you have anything to add to my list of things not to do when feeling overwhelmed? I would love to hear your thoughts…leave a comment below.
*Photo by Taylor Deas-Melesh on Unsplash
