Chop Wood, Carry Water: What to Do When Life Feels Out of Control
Lately, I’ve been feeling sad, angry, and overwhelmed.
I’m not 100% sure why.
Some of it is definitely the high expectations I put on myself.
Some of it is probably the sheer volume of important things that are happening at once.
Looming deadlines. Consequential projects. Pivotal events in my children’s lives.
And the things that normally work aren’t working.
What then?
Three Things That Hold When Everything Else Doesn’t
Maybe you've been there too — doing all the right things, and still feeling like you're underwater. I don't have a formula for this, but here's what I keep coming back to.
1) Chop Wood, Carry Water
One particular Wednesday, I really didn’t feel like working. I felt sad, anxious, angry, and lonely. I wanted to curl up in my bed and watch Netflix, but I had important work to do in preparation for a talk I’m giving at the end of April.
It was a cold but delightfully sunny day, the birds were singing, and I thought for sure a walk would untangle my thoughts as usual. But it didn’t move the needle, and I finally accepted that I was a professional who had a job to do—I needed to “chop wood and carry water” anyway.
“Chop wood, carry water” is an old Buddhist saying about embracing the mundane. Rather than escaping into something more glamorous or spiritual, it’s the place where transformation actually happens. This was also true for Brother Lawrence, a 17th-century French monk who worked as a shoemaker and cook. People said his greatest labor never diverted him from God. There was something about the way he stayed present and connected—never moving too slowly but never rushing, either. He had a calm devotion that affected everyone who saw him.
That day, I embraced the mundane. I still felt sad and angry, but by the end of the day, I had made progress. And that’s what matters.
2) Lean into your anchors
One of my anchor routines is my spiritual morning routine. It may sound exhausting to some, but it’s life-giving for me. I’m not sharing it as a prescription but rather as an encouragement to find your own rhythm. Mine begins at 4:30 AM with coffee—not because I want to get up that early, but because it’s the amount of time I need before the family routine begins. I start by filling out my five-year journal and daily gratitude journal.
Then from 5-6 AM, I read Scripture using the 2-year plan from the Book of Common Prayer, read 10 minutes of a spiritual classic (right now I’m reading The Divine Conspiracy by Dallas Willard), and close with 15-20 minutes of silence prompted by a short reading in The Practice of the Presence of God by Brother Lawrence—a 17th-century monk in France.
Finally, from 6-7 AM, I write this newsletter.
No matter what’s happening around me, my routine anchors me, and when I miss it, I feel off. That’s what happened that Wednesday—I missed my morning routine. I didn’t feel bad for missing my routine; I was already feeling bad, and missing my morning routine exacerbated it.
Had I done it that day, it might have been a better day, but when I miss a day, I don’t fret; I just get back in the saddle.
3) Acknowledge your emotions
Emotions are how we experience the world. In the words of Dr. Peter Scazzero, they are “the language of the soul.”
They are also a dashboard trying to tell us what’s happening inside.
I find it helpful to treat my emotions like people. That might look something like this, “Sadness, I recognize you are here, and it’s okay. If there is something you want to tell me, I’m open. If not, that’s okay, too.”
Then sit with them for a few minutes.
Psychologists call this Acceptance Commitment Therapy—accepting what you can't control while committing to what actually matters. Interestingly, both Stoicism and Christianity share similar philosophies of acceptance and control.
Did you know emotions last for only 90 seconds? According to Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor, if an emotion lasts longer than that, it’s because you are rehearsing that thought, restimulating the emotion, and it’s triggering the same physical response again. I've tested this. When I stop feeding the thought, the wave really does pass.
Acknowledging your emotions and giving them time and space to speak is often what allows them to resolve.
Whether it’s a short walk, sitting by a lake, or simply finding a quiet corner, silence and solitude can give you the time and space you need to listen to your life.
If any of this sounds familiar, I want you to know—there’s nothing wrong with you. You're paying attention. And that matters.
Your RHYTHMS CHECK
Most people think the answer to overwhelm is a better strategy, but the truth is the answer is often just showing up and doing the next mundane thing in front of you — even when it doesn't feel like it's working.
This is about your Emotional and Spiritual rhythms — because when life overwhelms you, these two chambers of the heart are doing the heaviest lifting. Your emotional rhythms are the dashboard telling you something needs attention. Your spiritual rhythms are the anchor that holds you steady while you listen.
If you ignore what you're feeling and just push through, your emotions build up, and eventually you won’t be able to ignore them any longer.
But if you slow down long enough to acknowledge what's happening inside, and lean into the anchors that ground you, it gives you the strength to keep moving forward even when you don’t feel like it.
Your emotional and spiritual rhythms hold you steady when your mind and body aren’t cooperating.
This week's rhythm: Stop ignoring those nagging feelings. Take 5 minutes to sit in silence. Name what you're feeling out loud—acknowledge it. Then ask it: "Is there something you want to tell me?" Write down whatever comes.
Reflection question: What is one emotion you've been avoiding this week — and what might it be trying to tell you?
Hit me back: What emotion showed up when you sat with it? Leave a comment here, on YouTube, or on social media (all handles @KentMurawski). I'd love to hear what surfaced for you.
Until next time,
Kent
PS - Does your morning routine need help? I’ve decided to give away Win the Morning, Win the Day! for free—a five-part mini-course that helps you design a simple, sustainable morning rhythm so you can start each day focused, grounded, and energized. Simply use this code:
WINTHEMORNING100
Sources
- Mardoche Sidor, MD and Karen Dubin, PhD, LCSW, “The Power of Leaves on the Stream Metaphor for Personal Growth,” May 28, 2024, https://sweetinstitute.com/the-power-of-leaves-on-the-stream-metaphor-for-personal-growth/#_ftn2
- WUSA9. (2021, May 26). The 90 second life cycle of an emotion [Video]. YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vxARXvljKBA
Share this Post:











