If it can happen at age 76, it can happen to anyone. Like many of you, I was shaken by the recent news about Philip Yancy’s eight-year affair with a married woman. It gave me pause and made me reflect. The main insight I walked away with? You can never stop fighting for your marriage. If you’re not married, apply that to your relationships. If you want good ones, you can never stop fighting for them. This type of failure isn’t sudden; it’s gradual. It’s a slow fade. I know because I’ve watched it in my own marriage in different seasons. Most people think that if you have a good marriage, you can coast, but the truth is that every great marriage is one season of neglect away from becoming a mediocre one. The moment you stop fighting for it, you start losing it. Like anything you fight for, there is no neutral ground. You are either advancing or retreating. The irony? Even as we'd eventually slip to a 6, we've spent 25 years learning what actually works. We have a good marriage—just one that has drifted into maintenance mode instead of growth mode. The practices I'm about to share aren't theory. They're the rhythms that got us through two decades of marriage and the same ones we're using right now to climb back to an 8. Simple but Not Easy At our twenty-fifth anniversary celebration last year, one of our friends shared about all the people he knew in their forties getting divorced. He pointed out our dedication to growing our marriage and asked us to share some wisdom with the group. Here are three things that have kept us together and growing. 1) Never Stop Dating We certainly haven’t always done this perfectly, but we’ve been consistent. Until recently, it was every two weeks (and sometimes longer), though we rarely went a month without a date. Our kids are older now, and our youngest can stay home by himself, so we’ve transitioned to weekly dates where I’ve noticed something important: spending focused time alone reminds me why I fell in love with Gina in the first place. In over 25 years of marriage, we’ve both been three or four different people and have changed significantly—for the better. Dating reminds me that we can never stop getting to know each other. What does this look like practically? Here’s our current rhythm: a weekly coffee date, a monthly dinner date, a quarterly extended date (3-6 hours), and a yearly multi-day getaway. And we like to sneak in an overnighter or two in addition to our annual getaway. Whatever your rhythm, decide on it together, put it on paper, and schedule it. 2) Never Stop Growing Marriage (and any relationship, for that matter) is like a plant. It has to be cared for and cultivated if you want it to grow and flourish. After our recent marriage review, we were not where we wanted to be and decided it was time for a marriage tune-up—another round of marriage counseling! Here’s what investing in your marriage looks like: Find some marriage mentors —a couple who have been married longer and/or have a better marriage than you. Ask them to meet with you so you can ask them some questions about marriage. Over time, they might even become marriage mentors. Find a good marriage counselor. They provide a needed second perspective on your recurring problems and share tools you may not have thought of. We’re on a waitlist right now. Read a marriage book together. Two that I recommend: The 5 Love Languages quiz and book by Gary Chapman, and The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John Gottman and Nan Silver. Do an annual marriage review —the practice we skipped for ten years that let us slide back to a 6. 3) Never Stop Talking It can be hard to find time to talk when life is in full swing (marriage, kids, and heavy work responsibilities), but find time you must. Clinical psychologist, author, and Professor Emeritus at the University of Toronto, Dr. Jordan Peterson contends that 90 minutes of weekly conversation is the minimum needed for a healthy marriage relationship. Otherwise, we develop a backlog of communication that affects our intimacy. Simply put, we don’t talk enough, and men, you probably aren’t listening enough. After we shared those three things, I said, “It’s nothing revolutionary. It's simple stuff.” To which someone replied, “It’s ​simple but not easy.​ ” I couldn’t agree more. Having a healthy and fulfilling marriage is not that complicated, but neither is it easy. An Embarrassing Admission I’ve been open about our past ​marriage struggles​ . My wife and I did our first annual marriage review in 2015 and loved it. We asked some tough questions, evaluated how we were doing, talked about what we wanted our marriage to be, and formed a plan to get there. It produced one of the best marriage seasons of our lives for several years. Sadly, we didn’t do one for another ten years, which is why we recently found ourselves sliding back into mediocrity when we did another review in late 2025. The toughest question of the review: On a scale of 1-10, how would you rate our marriage and why? Both of us gave it a similar rating. Her rating: 6. My rating: 6.5. Not great, I know. Certainly not #MarriageGoals. But there’s good news, too. The review allowed us to pinpoint where we were falling short and form a plan that we’ve already begun to execute, including: A fresh round of marriage counseling. A weekly date. Reading a marriage book together. Having a weekly parenting conversation (being on the same page with our thirteen-year-old was a pain point). Pursuing a hobby together. Our goal: to move from a 6 or 6.5 to an 8 by June 30, 2026. Already, by setting our intention and forming a plan, we are seeing improvement. Mediocrity is easy. Just keep doing what you’re doing. Excellence is hard. It takes constant work and improvement. Your RHYTHMS Check This is about your Relational rhythms —good relationships make for a happy life. Because marriage is the centerpiece of your inner circle, and when this primary relationship fails, everything downstream suffers. Much like the heart, where all four chambers must work together, your relational rhythm with your spouse pumps life into every other area. It’s easy to drift into roommate status, where you coexist but don't truly connect. The slow fade becomes inevitable. Your marriage can drop from an 8 to a 6 or worse without you even noticing. Never stop dating, never stop growing, never stop talking. When you do, it creates a marriage that advances rather than retreats. You become someone your spouse wants to spend time with. The compound effect of small, consistent investments transforms mediocrity into something worth fighting for. This week's action step: schedule your next marriage check-in right now. Pull out your calendar and block 90 minutes in the next 7 days—no phones, no kids, just focused conversation. If you're married, give this question to your spouse ahead of time and talk about it during your check-in: "On a scale of 1-10, how would you rate our marriage right now, and why?” Then ask, What one thing would move our marriage from where it is now to one point higher on a 10-point scale? If you’re not married, which relationship is in most need of attention right now, and what’s the first step you need to take? Your turn. Reply to this email and tell me: When's your next date scheduled, and what's the one thing you're committing to do this week to fight for your marriage? I read every response. Until next time, Kent PS - Your Relational rhythm is just one chamber. But it's the one that pumps life into everything else—and it's usually the first thing leaders sacrifice when life gets busy. I'm launching my first ​ RHYTHMS OF REST beta group ​ in February 2026 to help you master all four rhythms before another year slips by. Click the link to be added to the waitlist. Sources ​Philip Yancy’s eight-year affair with a married woman​ , Christianity Today The Five Languages of Love ​quiz​ and ​book​ by Gary Chapman ​The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work​ by John Gottman and Nan Silver ​“The Yearly Marriage Check Up​ ,” The Art of Manliness  ​Jordan Peterson Marriage Advice (90 Minute Rule for a Healthy Relationship)​ , the SRS Daily Whenever you're ready, there are four ways I can help you... Try the 5-minute ​REST Assessment​ to identify exactly where you are on the burnout scale—from Thriving to Critical—so you can take the next right step. Transform those anxiety-filled, rushed mornings into your foundation for daily success with my course, ​Win the Morning, Win the Day!​ ​Schedule a Discovery Call​ to find out if executive coaching is for you - for business owners or executives Catalyze your organization - invite me to do a ​keynote or workshop​

Rest and inactivity aren't the same thing. It took me 25 years to figure that out. Not long ago, I performed a song with my daughter at an open mic. Did I feel like going out on a cold, dark Thursday night? Not really. Did it take effort? Absolutely. Was it restful? More than a nap ever could be. When my daughter suggested singing a song together at an open-mic night, I jumped at the opportunity. She has a lovely voice and wanted to do a song I love—Starting Over by Chris Stapleton. This song was released during the COVID-19 pandemic and characterized the way many of us were feeling. 

Nearly half of all Americans finished ZERO books last year. Reading 5 books per year puts you in the top 33 percent. Reading 10 books per year puts you in the top 21 percent. Reading 20, 30, or 40 books per year puts you in rare company — among the top 10 percent of readers. Which camp do you fall into? You see, in the past, I didn’t read much either…maybe 3-4 books per year. But several years ago, I decided to be a reader. That one decision changed my life. Since then, I’ve steadily increased the amount of time I read each day, which has led to more books read.  2025 is a bit deceiving because I read two books that were 600 pages—which is really like three books. That brings me up to about 29 books for the year. Here's what matters: It's less about the number of books you read and more about becoming a reader. Are We Getting Dumber? A recent article in the Economist highlighted some alarming trends. Multiple studies have concluded that adults, children, and teenagers are all reading less, and very small children are being read to less. Reading to my children has been one of the joys of my life. It’s such fun that I recently reinstated reading to my thirteen-year-old before bed…again. We are currently reading The Hobbit . Tolkien has lots of songs in his books, so I even dance and sing a little, too! The article bluntly states, “Reading is in trouble.”: In America, the share of people who read for pleasure has fallen by two-fifths in 20 years. That’s a 40% drop in just two decades. Sentences are getting shorter and simpler. Hundreds of NY Times bestsellers were analyzed and found that sentences in popular books have contracted by almost a third since the 1930s. Presidential speeches have dropped from postgraduate-level complexity to high-school-level in 250 years, from George Washington’s postgraduate-level score of about 28.7 to Donald Trump’s high-school-level score of about 9.4. Here’s what concerns me most: many leaders don’t read that much either, and that sets them at a significant disadvantage. Some of my best ideas come from cross-disciplinary reading or reading outside my field of expertise. No, I don’t read 50 or 100 books a year like some people. I can’t make that kind of time right now. That takes about an hour of reading per day. I read about two books per month—not to hit a number, but because I've experienced what happens when I don't. My thinking gets shallow. My creativity dries up. My leadership suffers. What Reading Actually Does for You #1 - Reading strengthens the neural pathways that make you sharp A former mentor of mine said, “Leaders are readers.” Though there are many forms of learning (podcasts, courses, etc), reading physical books does something podcasts and courses can't. Reading creates and strengthens the neural pathways your brain uses to think, process, and solve problems. When you stop reading, these pathways literally weaken. Your attention span shrinks. Your ability to think deeply deteriorates. I see this firsthand in my coaching business. Being a reader allows me to stay sharp for my clients, process complex ideas, and lead with more creativity. #2 - Reading makes you healthier My Nana was as sharp as a tack until the day she died at age 92, and one of the key memories I have is her doing crossword puzzles every time I came to her house. Reading comes with many physical and mental benefits. It has been shown to increase brain strength, empathy, sleep, and life expectancy, and decrease stress, depression, and cognitive decline as you age. All that by the simple act of reading. Seems like a small trade-off for so many benefits. I can personally attest to this. Reading makes you smarter and healthier. #3 - Reading Makes You Smarter When you read a book, you gain 2-3 years of accumulated knowledge. That’s how long the average book takes to research, write, and release. Beyond that, there are usually many more years of life experience embedded within its pages. Sir Francis Bacon, the renowned scientist and philosopher, coined the phrase “knowledge is power.” But knowledge without application is just information. Understanding is what happens when you apply what you read. When I read a book, I’m looking for relevant takeaways that apply right now , unless it’s a good fiction book that I’m reading for enjoyment. Even then, I sometimes find myself marking pages, underlining quotes, or making notes for future use. Here are five books that transformed how I think and lead in 2025. Five Books that Changed How I Think and Lead In 2025 #1 - Jobs by Walter Isaacson It's hard to summarize a person's life in one core idea, but if I had to, I'd say Jobs lived for innovation and focus. His ability to tune out the noise and stay laser-focused on the few products that would change everything was legendary. But that singular focus came at a brutal cost. Jobs could make people believe they could do the impossible—and they did. But relationships? Not his strength. Building an enduring company where people made great products was everything. "Everything else was secondary," including the people closest to him. This book gave me a vivid picture of how to stay relentlessly focused and how not to lead relationally. #2 - The Creative Act by Rick Rubin Rubin's big idea: creativity isn't a method you master—it's a way of being. Instead of giving you a step-by-step process, Rubin explores what creativity looks like through different people and forms. The book reads like a devotional, with short chapters you can absorb daily for inspiration. Each one offers a fresh perspective on creativity as something alive, ever-changing, and growing. The Creative Act helped solidify that creativity is a way of life, not just moments of inspiration. #3 - The Genesee Diary by Henri Nouwen Nouwen spent seven months at a Trappist monastery, trying to escape the frenetic pace of academia and ministry. I read the book while at the same monastery, The Abbey of the Genesee in Western, NY. What stuck with me most was this line: "When you want to hurry something, that means you no longer care about it, and want to get on to other things." That landed like a punch. Nouwen discovered that his need to achieve, to be recognized, to stay busy—all of it was disconnecting him from love itself. The Benedictine rhythm of prayer, work, and rest wasn't just a nice monastic practice. It was the antidote to a life lived detached from God and people. Nouwen wrestled with whether he could bring this slower way back into his "real life." The question haunted him: Can you live contemplatively in an active world? His honest answer: barely. But the trying matters. #4 - Three Mile an Hour God by Koyami Kosuki Koyama, a Japanese theologian, brings an Eastern perspective that shattered my Western theological assumptions. He weaves insights from Buddhism, Hinduism, and Taoism (without embracing universalism) to paint a fuller picture of God at work in the world. But the real gut punch? His unflinching examination of the injustices the Church has participated in—especially toward ethnic and religious minorities. What stuck with me: Koyama's penetrating questions left me wrestling with my own complicity. He doesn't offer easy answers or seven-step solutions. Instead, he forces you to sit with the discomfort and ask yourself: How am I participating in injustice? How do I bring God's justice into the world? Honestly? I'm still not sure. But the asking matters. #5 - Hell Yeah or No by Derek Sivers ​​Sivers' philosophy is simple: if it's not a "hell yeah," it's a no. The book is a collection of over 60 short chapters—life wisdom condensed into bite-sized pieces you can read daily. Wide-ranging and thought-provoking, Sivers challenges you to think more deeply about what you're doing, why you're doing it, and whether it's actually worth doing at all. What stuck with me: His relentless clarity about priorities. Most of us say yes to things that are merely "fine" or "good enough," filling our lives with mediocre commitments. Sivers strips away the noise and asks the hard question: Is this a hell yeah? If not, why are you doing it? It's a gold mine for anyone drowning in obligations they never really wanted in the first place. Your RHYTHMS Check This is about your Emotional and Mental rhythms and the practices that protect your mental clarity and creative capacity. If you don't become a reader, your brain will continue weakening. Your ideas will stay shallow. Your leadership will plateau. You'll keep grinding harder while thinking slower. But if you commit to becoming a reader... you'll strengthen neural pathways that make complex thinking easier. You'll gain years of compressed wisdom from leaders who've walked ahead of you. You'll process stress better, sleep more deeply, and lead with more creativity. Your reading habits determine whether you're building mental capacity or burning it down. This week's rhythm: Choose one book that you already have and read one page today, maybe before bed or with your morning coffee. Do this for seven days straight and notice what happens to your mental clarity. When was the last time you read something that actually changed how you think—not just informed you, but transformed you? Until next time, Kent PS - My new e-book, On Becoming a Reader: Unlocking the Power of Reading , shows you how to become a reader using simple, science-backed strategies that actually work. No guilt. No overwhelm. Just one page at a time, starting today. Whenever you're ready, there are four ways I can help you... Try the 5-minute REST Assessment to identify exactly where you are on the burnout scale—from Thriving to Critical—so you can take the next right step. Transform those anxiety-filled, rushed mornings into your foundation for daily success with my course, Win the Morning, Win the Day! ​ ​ Schedule a Discovery Call to find out if executive coaching is for you - for business owners or executives Catalyze your organization - invite me to do a keynote or workshop ​ Sources “Most Americans Didn’t Read Many Books in 2025,” https://yougovamerica.substack.com/p/most-americans-didnt-read-many-books Dr. Thomas H. Agrait https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/negative-impact-decline-reading-society-perspective-dr-thomas-h--bdmre/ ​ “Is the Decline of Reading Making Politics Dumber?” https://www.economist.com/culture/2025/09/04/is-the-decline-of-reading-making-politics-dumber “Is the Decline of Reading Making Politics Dumber?” https://www.economist.com/culture/2025/09/04/is-the-decline-of-reading-making-politics-dumber “Benefits of Reading Books: How It Can Positively Affect Your Life,” https://www.healthline.com/health/benefits-of-reading-books#takeaway ​ “What Did Francis Bacon Mean by Knowledge Is Power?” https://www.thecollector.com/francis-bacon-knowledge-is-power/

"I’ve never seen you this at peace before." My friend said this exactly 30 days before I ruptured my patella tendon and lost nearly every rhythm I'd built. What do you do when your rhythms get hijacked by life or someone else's agenda? When You’re Rhythms Fall Apart Some of you may be asking, Does the guy who talks about the “right rhythms” being the answer to burnout and overwhelm ever feel burned out himself? The simple answer is yes. The complex answer is, no matter how great your rhythms are, life still throws you curveballs that you can’t control, and you’re going to get weary sometimes. This usually happens right when you feel you are starting to hit a groove. That’s what happened to me back in May when I ruptured my patella tendon. It happened right on the heels of one of the best seasons of my life. Let me paint the picture for you: I was near my ideal weight, lifting three times a week, emotionally and mentally sharp, work was going better than ever, my relationships were solid, and I'd just returned from a ​transformative retreat​ where a friend commented, "I've never seen you that at peace before." A month later, on May 18, 2025, 9-12 months of my life were instantly decided for me by my injury. All of my physical rhythms instantly ceased. Many of my spiritual practices disappeared. Emotionally? Crushed. Devastated. Thankfully, I could still work since my job is virtual, but I was staring down a long road I didn't choose. The Thing That Held I'd like to tell you I bounced back quickly. I didn't. It took months just to feel some sense of normalcy again. Even now, some of the rhythms I cherish, like my daily walks to the park, are just returning albeit significantly different with no small amount of pain. Having the right rhythms is crucial, and they are going to help you immensely. But they also need to be flexible enough to move with life. When by no choice of your own, one or more go out the window, the others have to be strong enough to hold. Here's what I learned: Rhythms matter. They help immensely. But they're only as strong as the relationships holding them in place. When your systems fail—and they will—it's the people who love you who determine whether you recover or collapse. Thanks especially to my wife who put up with a lot of grumpiness and bore the weight of the family for 2-3 months as I began to recover. She drove me to every appointment, took off work, attended my needs, and was a taxi service for the kids. My friends came to visit me, some from an hour away. My kids pitched in however they could. Slowly but surely, after two surgeries and weekly PT, life returned to some sense of normalcy, and I am now halfway through the recovery process. How about you? Which of your rhythms are currently broken? And more importantly—who's holding you up while you rebuild? Your RHYTHMS Check Most people think the right rhythms will prevent burnout and protect them from life's chaos, but the truth is rhythms are only as strong as the relationships holding them in place—and when your systems fail, it's the people who love you who determine whether you recover or collapse. This is about your Relational rhythms —the people, connections, and support systems that hold you when your other rhythms fail. Most leaders focus obsessively on optimizing their personal systems (physical routines, productivity hacks, spiritual practices) while neglecting the relational foundation that determines whether those systems can be sustained long-term. If you don't intentionally strengthen your relational rhythms before a crisis hits... you'll face it alone, without the support network that makes recovery possible. You'll burn through willpower trying to maintain systems that were never designed to stand without relational support. But if you invest in your relational rhythms now... you create a foundation that holds when everything else collapses. You build a network of people who will carry you through seasons when you can't carry yourself. Your relational rhythm determines whether burnout becomes a spiral or a season you move through with support. This week's rhythm: Identify the three people who would show up if your life fell apart tomorrow. Then reach out to one of them—not to ask for anything, but to invest in that relationship while you still have capacity. Send a text. Schedule coffee. Make a phone call. The relationships that hold you through crisis are built in the ordinary moments before crisis hits. If your carefully constructed routines disappeared tomorrow, who would actually show up to help you rebuild—and have you invested in those relationships lately? Hit reply and tell me: Who is one person you're going to reach out to this week to strengthen your relational foundation? I read every response, and I'm genuinely curious who shows up for you. Until next time, Kent Whenever you're ready, there are four ways I can help you... Try the 5-minute ​REST Assessment​ to identify exactly where you are on the burnout scale—from Thriving to Critical—so you can take the next right step. Transform those anxiety-filled, rushed mornings into your foundation for daily success with my course, ​Win the Morning, Win the Day!​ ​Schedule a Discovery Call​ to find out if executive coaching is for you - for business owners or executives Catalyze your organization - invite me to do a ​keynote or workshop

When was the last time you looked at your values and actually felt convicted? I created my personal core values years ago. Read them every day. Have most of them memorized. Use them as a decision-making compass. They are so ingrained in me that I can’t live any other way. To go outside of my values is failure. To live within them is success. The Reality Gap If only it were that easy. Though I do seek to live my values in everything, in the day-to-day scramble of life, it’s easy to lose sight of them or default to an easier option. I’m not perfect, and I’m not always going to get it right. Neither are you. The urgent question you need to ask is, am I moving closer and closer to the person I want to be or drifting further away? Values aren't just reminders. They're the architecture of your soul. When you live disconnected from them, you feel it—even when everything looks successful on the outside. Knowing your values is a good start, but living by them requires intentionality. Values In Action Let me show you what this looks like in real life—the messy, trackable, accountable version. One of my personal values is “Intentional,” which simply means to do something by design. In my case, this primarily refers to my relationships. Because values without action are just nice words, I define it as an action, “I create thriving relationships by being an intentional husband, father, and friend.” But that’s still not enough. Here are some specific behaviors I practice in order to be intentional with my most important relationships: Wife - We aim to talk three times per week for at least 30 minutes, a bi-weekly date night, an entire day together quarterly, and a yearly getaway. Kids - I aim to intentionally connect with one of my kids each week. That could be an outing with one of them, watching a show, or just knocking on their door to chat for a bit. They all happen to live at home right now, but as they move out, that will become a weekly phone call or touch point. Friends - I aim to connect with my closest friends face-to-face once per month, and try to text them at least once in between. Living an hour away makes this harder, but that's exactly why I track it. Peter Drucker, sometimes referred to as the father of modern management once said, “If you can’t measure it, you can’t manage it.” Your values are no exception. A good relationship can be hard to measure (you intuitively know how you feel about them—good, bad, or somewhere in between), but what creates a good relationship is easier to measure—time spent, effective communication, listening, dates, etc. These are my greatest opportunities for impact. My wife needs a husband who pursues her. My kids need a father who champions them. My friends need someone who shows up—in the small moments and the crises. Failure here ripples through generations. As John Maxwell wrote and I've embraced as my own definition of relational success, "Success is when the people who know me best respect me the most." The Proof How do I know I’m living this value? My wife recently commented on this during a conversation with one of my kids. She said, “Your Dad is one of the most intentional people I know. He has a reason for everything he does and has thought through it. It’s one of the things I love about him.” I’ve always been intentional, but in the past, my intentionality was lopsided—toward things that mattered less—like work, success, and growth. Being intentional about work is good. Being intentional about work while your relationships get your leftovers? That's a different story. Your Rhythms Check Your values are the cornerstones of all four rhythms—Relational, Emotional, Spiritual, and Tangible—understanding who you are at your core and aligning your daily life with that identity. They're not just words on paper, they're the architecture of your soul. When you live disconnected from them, you experience internal friction, even if everything looks successful on the outside. Start by clearly identifying your values. If not you'll wake up one day realizing you've been climbing the wrong ladder. Your calendar will be full, your bank account might be healthy, but you’ll feel empty and the people who matter most will feel like they got your leftovers. You'll be successful in everyone's eyes except yourself and the people who know you best. That’s not success. But if you make your values non-negotiable, you’ll create alignment between who you say you are and who you actually are. Your decisions become clearer. Your relationships become richer. You stop living in constant internal conflict. You build a life that looks successful from the outside AND feels restful on the inside. Your values determine whether you're building a life or just managing a schedule. This week's rhythm: Take 10 minutes to write down your top 3 values. Then ask someone close to you: "Based on how I actually spend my time and energy, what do you think my real values are?" Don't defend. Just listen. The gap between your stated values and their answer is your growth edge. Here are two great resources I've used to help me: ​Brené Brown Dare to Lead Values List​ ​Steven Covey 80th Birthday Party​ The wake up call: If your calendar and bank statement were audited, what would they say your real values are—not what you wish they were? Hit reply and tell me: What's ONE value you say matters to you, but if you're honest, your life doesn't currently reflect it? And what's ONE thing you're going to do in the next 24 hours to close that gap? Until next time, Kent Whenever you're ready, there are four ways I can help you... Try the 5-minute ​REST Assessment​ to identify exactly where you are on the burnout scale—from Thriving to Critical—so you can take the next right step. Transform those anxiety-filled, rushed mornings into your foundation for daily success with my course, ​Win the Morning, Win the Day!​ ​Schedule a Discovery Call​ to find out if executive coaching is for you - for business owners or executives Catalyze your organization - invite me to do a ​keynote or workshop

1474 days of gratitude. For 1,474 days, I've been writing down three things I'm grateful for—without it, I don’t know where I’d be. Sure, I’ve missed some days here and there, but perfection is not the point…never has been. But before I move on, Happy Thanksgiving from my family to yours! 

What if the reason you can't rest isn't because you're too busy, but because you've made rest itself too complex? Rest is simple, but it's not easy. Here’s what I mean: Simple is the opposite of complex. Complex comes from the word “complect” which means woven together, entwined, or braided. Simple comes from the word “simplex” which means single, plain, one-fold, unbraided, or unconnected. Easy refers to something that is accessible and effortless, versus difficult and demanding. I love simplicity, but I often find myself overcomplicating things. What Simple Actually Looks Like Simple is elegant. A simple and delicious recipe A simple and clear framework A simple and compelling mission A simple and streamlined look or design A simple and easy-to-use piece of technology Notice what they all have in common, they remove rather than add. Simplicity requires intentionality, focused thought, diligent effort, and often cutting, but it leaves you with something beautiful when it’s done. This is exactly what I learned the hard way. A Framework Born from Failure After my fall-down-on-the-floor nervous breakdown at 27, I had an epiphany: You don't need to understand or control everything to live and lead from a place of peace and rest. That moment led me to create the ​ Rhythms of REST℠ Framework​ —four key areas where all of us need simple, sustainable rhythms: R elational - the people and connections that matter most E motional/Mental - processing the weight of life and leadership S piritual - meaning, purpose, and grounding practices T angible - work, finances, and physical health. Just like a heart where all four chambers must work together for proper blood flow, a flourishing life depends on integrating these four rhythms. What a Well-Designed Life Looks Like The goal of life is simplicity. No one wants a complicated life. A simple life is a well-designed life. A well-designed life… Flows from a clear purpose and values, not others' expectations Gets reevaluated regularly; it’s dynamic, not static. Lives life holistically, rather than in separate compartments. Here’s what a well-designed life doesn’t mean… A well-designed life doesn’t mean perfection, and it doesn't mean we have ultimate control; we don’t. In fact, we have very little control except for self-control. We can’t control other people; we don’t control circumstances; and we can’t control what happens to us or around us for the most part. However, we do have a choice about how we respond to things and what we will do with the time that has been given to us. But simple doesn’t mean easy either. Doing the hard work of keeping things simple means we have to make difficult choices—choices that flow from our values. I learned this lesson the hard way fifteen years ago—crying in the car after four Christmases in five days. Being an intentional husband and father meant making a conscious choice to prioritize the well-being of myself and my family. That moment forced me to ask: Am I designing a life I love in line with my values, or succumbing to other people’s expectations? Which brings me to you… Your Rhythms Check This isn't about mastering one particular rhythm right now. This is about the values that shape your rhythms—because when your life is designed around your values rather than others' expectations, every area begins to work together. If you don't identify and prioritize your values, you'll keep saying yes to things that drain you and no to things that matter most. You'll end up with a complex life designed by committee—everyone else's priorities woven together until you can't find your own thread. But if you take the time to define your values, you can make difficult decisions from a place of clarity rather than guilt. You create simple systems that support what matters most. You stop apologizing for living intentionally. Your values determine whether you're living a life by design or by default. This week's rhythm: Take 15 minutes with pen and paper and do this brief core values exercise: If I could only say yes to three things in life, what would they be?" Don't overthink it. Don't make it complicated. Just write what comes first. Then look at your calendar for last week. How many of your commitments actually supported those three things? If someone looked at your calendar from last week, what would they say you value most—and would they be right? Most people think that creating rhythms of rest requires elaborate systems, perfect conditions, and massive life overhauls, but the truth is that simple, sustainable rest comes from eliminating complexity and living from your values—not by adding more structure. Leave a comment and tell me: What's the one thing you discovered you're currently saying yes to that your values would tell you to stop? I read every response, and I want to know what you're wrestling with. Until next time,

Driving home after four Christmases in five days, we were in tears. Not tears of joy—tears of exhaustion, overwhelm, and exasperation. Both our parents were divorced, but they all lived within two hours of each other. Obviously, we couldn't not visit all of them if we were going to the area. So, we set up Basecamp at one of our parents' houses, and each day, we traveled to one of their houses for another Christmas. In the end, we were a mess, and none of us was satisfied with the amount of time we'd spent with each one. It was like something out of the movies! At the time, we had young children, the desire to establish traditions of our own, and the desperate need for some downtime during the holidays. Fifteen years ago, that trip was the catalyst that helped us decide NOT to travel during the holidays. That decision changed everything —which is exactly what we're going to explore together on November 18th in a free webinar I'm calling The December Decision. Save your spot for the FREE webinar → Some might feel it’s too early to start talking about Christmas, but we've already begun receiving holiday gift magazines and seeing Christmas commercials weeks ago. Which means you're probably already feeling the pressure to plan, book, and commit. Holiday Overwhelm Is Real The truth is, even with that decision not to travel and other intentional ones, the holidays can STILL feel overwhelming. Your December probably includes work projects rushing to close before year-end, endless holiday parties—company events, client dinners, kids' school celebrations, church gatherings, neighborhood parties. Then there are family expectations around travel plans, hosting duties, gift shopping, and maintaining traditions like Christmas cards. Meanwhile, your kids' activities don't stop just because it's December, not to mention the year-end financial reviews, planning sessions, and strategic meetings that need to happen. And somehow you're supposed to smile through it all and "enjoy the magic of the holidays," right? Here’s the truth we know but don’t want to say: the people who matter most get whatever's left over. Your spouse gets the exhausted, irritable version of you. Your kids get the distracted, stressed, 'not now' version. And by December 26th, you’re exhausted, and there are only a few days to recover (if you get any time off at all) before the New Year begins, and it starts all over again This is the pattern, but maybe this year it will be different? Your Rhythms Check This is about your Relational rhythms —the quality of connection with the people who matter most. The holidays test these rhythms more than any other season because you're forced to choose between maintaining peace with extended family, meeting professional obligations, and protecting the sacred circle of your immediate family. If you don't set boundaries now , you'll spend January apologizing to your spouse and kids for being absent during what should have been your most connected season. You'll have attended 15 parties but missed the moments that actually matter. But if you make The December Decision now , you create space for the traditions that fuel you rather than drain you. You model for your children that rest isn't optional—it's strategic. You enter the new year energized, not depleted. Your Relational rhythm determines whether the holidays strengthen your closest bonds or strain them to the breaking point. This week's rhythm: Before you say yes to one more holiday commitment, have a 15-minute conversation with your spouse or accountability partner. Ask: "What are the three non-negotiable holiday experiences we want to protect this year?" Everything else is optional. Which holiday obligation are you dreading most—and what would happen if you simply didn't do it this year? Leave a comment: What's ONE holiday commitment you're going to say no to this year? I want to celebrate your courage to choose rest over obligation. Until next time, Kent PS - If you're realizing your December is already spinning out of control, you're not alone. On November 18th, I'm hosting a FREE webinar called The December Decision —where we'll map out how to slow the rush, protect what matters, and turn the holidays into fuel for your best year yet. No fluff, just a practical plan you can implement immediately. ​Save your spot for the FREE webinar →

After a retreat to a Trappist monastery at the end of April, my spiritual life had never been better. Then everything fell apart. A brutal knee injury in May forced me to focus on recovery for months. In fact, I’m still recovering and have a long way to go. Some of my spiritual rhythms fell apart, too, and my purpose started feeling foggy and unclear. It’s hard when life puts you in a narrow place. But life does that sometimes. It forces you to ask the question, Do I matter when I can’t do all the things I normally do? Do I Matter? Not long ago, I walked into my office and my youngest son had written on the whiteboard: "Jon was here."