What do beer, maple bacon donuts, and the Red Sox have in common?
I recently went to a Boston Red Sox game with my friend, Joe, and we had so much fun! We met early for dinner and a beer. Later, we stumbled upon Union Square Donuts where I had a maple bacon donut. It was amazing (see picture below)! At the game, we chatted about life, watched a little baseball, had a good laugh watching people do ridiculous dances when they came into camera view, and sang Sweet Caroline with 20,000 fans (it’s a Red Sox thing).
After the game, I felt full—not from the maple bacon donut—but from friendship and fun. That’s what beer, maple bacon donuts, and the Red Sox have in common. They are all better in the context of friendship!
Emotional rest…
Emotional rest can be difficult to define and emotional depletion is hard to replenish. That’s because it deals with our ever-changing emotions.
Emotional intelligence is typically defined as the ability to recognize, understand, and influence your own emotions and those of others. And therein lies the reason why emotional depletion is hard to replenish—we are not always in tune with our feelings, and by the time we understand what’s happening, we are already depleted.
Other forms of rest may be challenging to replenish but are easier to define. For example, if you’re physically exhausted, you probably need to eat better, sleep more, or exercise regularly. If you’re spiritually depleted, it’s probably because your spiritual rhythms are lacking. And if you’re relationally weary, you probably know why—there is tension in an important relationship, you are hanging around too many life-sucking people, or you have too few replenishing relationships.But nothing will replenish your emotional tank like having fun.
What is fun?
Fun can also be hard to define. Catherine Price, author of The Power of Fun, defines true fun as having three ingredients:
- Playfulness – having a light-hearted spirit—of not taking yourself too seriously and finding ways to laugh. it’s all about your attitude.
- Connection – the feeling of having a special, shared experience with someone else.
- Flow – the state we’re in when we’re totally engrossed and actively focused on the activity or experience at hand—it’s when we’re in the zone. What’s important to note about flow is that it is, by definition, an active and focused state. Sure, time flies when you’re watching Netflix, but that’s passive consumption, so it doesn’t count.
Fun = Playful, Connected Flow
The primary ingredients of fun
In his new book, Build the Life You Want, Arthur Brooks teaches that enjoyment is one of the three “macronutrients” of happiness (along with purpose and satisfaction). More than animal pleasure, enjoyment takes an urge for pleasure and adds two important things: communion and consciousness. Like Catherine Price, Brooks teaches that enjoyment typically involves other people and makes a warm memory.
That means enjoyment usually requires an investment of time and energy.
Take the Red Sox game for example. I had to download the app so my friend could transfer the ticket. Then I had to drive an hour, park across the river, walk a mile to the Fenway, walk a mile back to my car after the game, and then drive another hour to get home.
It made for a long day, but it was worth it, and we made a fun memory together.
Fun: planned vs. spontaneous
Fun can be planned or spontaneous. One way to do this is to schedule something fun at least once a month. Simply put, it involves doing something you enjoy with someone you enjoy. Some examples for me are golf and skiing. Whatever you do, don’t overplan. Choose an activity, find a person or group to join you, and let the fun begin!
Spontaneous fun is more about our attitude than planning. Open yourself up to moments of fun that are unplanned. Don’t worry, you’ll know it when you see it.
Take the fun challenge
Convinced you need more fun in your life? Take the fun challenge.
In the next 24-48 hours, plan something fun, invite someone to do it with you, and put it in your schedule.
You won’t regret it.
Sources
Arthur Brooks and Oprah Winfrey, Build the Life You Want, 2023, Portfolio/Penguin (Brooks is the Professor of Management Practice at the Harvard Business School, where he teaches courses on leadership, happiness, and social entrepreneurship)
“What IS Fun?” by Cathering PriceDaniel Goleman, Emotional Intelligence
