How to Recharge When You’re Emotionally Drained

Kent Murawski

What do beer, maple bacon donuts, and the Red Sox have in common?

I recently went to a Boston Red Sox game with my friend, Joe, and we had so much fun! We met early for dinner and a beer. Later, we stumbled upon Union Square Donuts where I had a maple bacon donut. It was amazing (see picture below)! At the game, we chatted about life, watched a little baseball, had a good laugh watching people do ridiculous dances when they came into camera view, and sang Sweet Caroline with 20,000 fans (it’s a Red Sox thing).

Kent, Joe, and My Maple Bacon Donut!

After the game, I felt full—not from the maple bacon donut—but from friendship and fun. That’s what beer, maple bacon donuts, and the Red Sox have in common. They are all better in the context of friendship!

Emotional rest…

Emotional rest can be difficult to define and emotional depletion is hard to replenish. That’s because it deals with our ever-changing emotions.

Emotional intelligence is typically defined as the ability to recognize, understand, and influence your own emotions and those of others. And therein lies the reason why emotional depletion is hard to replenish—we are not always in tune with our feelings, and by the time we understand what’s happening, we are already depleted.

Other forms of rest may be challenging to replenish but are easier to define. For example, if you’re physically exhausted, you probably need to eat better, sleep more, or exercise regularly. If you’re spiritually depleted, it’s probably because your spiritual rhythms are lacking. And if you’re relationally weary, you probably know why—there is tension in an important relationship, you are hanging around too many life-sucking people, or you have too few replenishing relationships.But nothing will replenish your emotional tank like having fun.

What is fun?

Fun can also be hard to define. Catherine Price, author of The Power of Fun, defines true fun as having three ingredients:

  1. Playfulness – having a light-hearted spirit—of not taking yourself too seriously and finding ways to laugh. it’s all about your attitude.
  2. Connection – the feeling of having a special, shared experience with someone else. 
  3. Flow – the state we’re in when we’re totally engrossed and actively focused on the activity or experience at hand—it’s when we’re in the zone. What’s important to note about flow is that it is, by definition, an active and focused state. Sure, time flies when you’re watching Netflix, but that’s passive consumption, so it doesn’t count.

Fun = Playful, Connected Flow

The primary ingredients of fun

In his new book, Build the Life You Want, Arthur Brooks teaches that enjoyment is one of the three “macronutrients” of happiness (along with purpose and satisfaction). More than animal pleasure, enjoyment takes an urge for pleasure and adds two important things: communion and consciousness. Like Catherine Price, Brooks teaches that enjoyment typically involves other people and makes a warm memory.

That means enjoyment usually requires an investment of time and energy.

Take the Red Sox game for example. I had to download the app so my friend could transfer the ticket. Then I had to drive an hour, park across the river, walk a mile to the Fenway, walk a mile back to my car after the game, and then drive another hour to get home.

It made for a long day, but it was worth it, and we made a fun memory together.

Fun: planned vs. spontaneous

Fun can be planned or spontaneous. One way to do this is to schedule something fun at least once a month. Simply put, it involves doing something you enjoy with someone you enjoy. Some examples for me are golf and skiing. Whatever you do, don’t overplan. Choose an activity, find a person or group to join you, and let the fun begin!

Spontaneous fun is more about our attitude than planning. Open yourself up to moments of fun that are unplanned. Don’t worry, you’ll know it when you see it.

Take the fun challenge

Convinced you need more fun in your life? Take the fun challenge.

In the next 24-48 hours, plan something fun, invite someone to do it with you, and put it in your schedule. 

You won’t regret it.

Sources

Arthur Brooks and Oprah Winfrey, Build the Life You Want, 2023, Portfolio/Penguin (Brooks is the Professor of Management Practice at the Harvard Business School, where he teaches courses on leadership, happiness, and social entrepreneurship)

What IS Fun? ” by Cathering PriceDaniel Goleman, Emotional Intelligence

* Photo by todd kent on Unsplash

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By Kent Murawski July 28, 2025
When was the last time you ended a summer feeling more energized than when it started? ​​Summer brings changes for many of us—minimizing our motivation to work, disrupting work routines, and altering schedules. With summertime often comes a desire to slow down, and yet, we're not always sure how to do that. This week is my last new post for a little while (though I may resend some popular posts from the 2024-2025 season). I’m pressing pause to create space and pour my energy into finishing my new book. But stay tuned—when I’m back in six weeks, the newsletter will be refreshed with some exciting updates you won’t want to miss! Read to the end to find out more. In this week's edition of Catalyst, I want to share 3 ideas to help you effectively navigate summer. 3 Ways to Master Summer Without Burning Out 1) Stop and Think (Reflect) Socrates famously said, "The unexamined life is not worth living." 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Here are a few questions you might want to ask: How am I feeling spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically? How are my closest relationships doing? Am I living out my core values? Is my life moving in a direction I feel good about? What do I need to change or adjust? Here are a few ideas for how to conduct a reflection day: Prayer, meditation, or silence Review your biggest wins and assess your goals from the previous quarter Work on high-impact projects that require focus Preview the upcoming quarter and set your Big 3 goals: personal, marriage/family, work/business 2) Cut the Non-Essentials (Reevaluate) Both my wife and I work, so when summer arrives, we need to re-evaluate our schedules to accommodate our twelve-year-old son. In the past, I've made the mistake of trying to keep the same workload despite being home with him two days a week. I ended up frustrated all summer long, living in the tension of wanting to spend more time with him while trying to carry the same workload. Summer requires me to pare down my work roles to the essentials: Writing (currently working on a new book) Executive coaching (6-8 coaching clients) Relationship building and outreach Necessary administration (keeping this to 30% or less of my responsibilities) Moving forward, I will probably keep things this way. It feels more sustainable than the unrealistic expectations I previously held myself to. Once you define your key roles and responsibilities, the question becomes how to achieve better work-life integration not work-life balance. I use the Big 3 System. Choose only three big things to focus on at one time—quarterly, weekly, and daily. That's right, just three. Those three things are usually a combination of personal, marriage/family, and work. Each quarter, I typically choose 1 personal goal, 1 marriage and family goal, and 1-3 work goals, depending on the quarter. Here are a few questions to consider. If you have a partner, discuss them together: How does your schedule change in the summer? What work-related responsibilities and expectations do you need to adjust? What are 3 things you want to do this summer? What do you NOT want to do? 3) Choose What Matters Most (Rest) Paring down expectations isn't only for work, it applies to rest, too. Because it's summer, there is the temptation to want to fit in everything (—vacation, visit family, trips, fun, etc). In the past, we would try to do so much that by the time fall rolled around, we were exhausted. Last year, out of necessity, we planned a staycation instead of going away. It was one of the best vacations we've had in a long time. And besides, summers in New England are gorgeous! 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For Socrates, life was more than pursuing the things that most men occupy themselves with, things like wealth, household affairs, status and position, and political clubs and factions. He believed that life only has value and meaning when we question what we think and know, and by more deeply understanding ourselves and others. The beginning of summer is an ideal time for reflection, and we all tend to occupy ourselves with the things Socrates talked about more than we probably care to admit. Taking a reflection day at the end of each quarter (consider removing "or trimester" for conciseness) can be an effective way to navigate seasonal changes. Finding a place far enough removed from your normal day-to-day life will help you get into a different headspace. A friend of mine often says: Change of pace + change of place = change of perspective. I've used hotels, monasteries, or even a beautiful outdoor location if the weather permits. Here are a few questions you might want to ask: How am I feeling spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically? How are my closest relationships doing? Am I living out my core values? Is my life moving in a direction I feel good about? What do I need to change or adjust? Here are a few ideas for how to conduct a reflection day: Prayer, meditation, or silence Review your biggest wins and assess your goals from the previous quarter Work on high-impact projects that require focus Preview the upcoming quarter and set your Big 3 goals: personal, marriage/family, work/business 2) Cut the Non-Essentials (Reevaluate) Both my wife and I work, so when summer arrives, we need to re-evaluate our schedules to accommodate our twelve-year-old son. In the past, I've made the mistake of trying to keep the same workload despite being home with him two days a week. I ended up frustrated all summer long, living in the tension of wanting to spend more time with him while trying to carry the same workload. Summer requires me to pare down my work roles to the essentials: Writing (currently working on a new book) Executive coaching (6-8 coaching clients) Relationship building and outreach Necessary administration (keeping this to 30% or less of my responsibilities) Moving forward, I will probably keep things this way. It feels more sustainable than the unrealistic expectations I previously held myself to. Once you define your key roles and responsibilities, the question becomes how to achieve better work-life integration not work-life balance. I use the Big 3 System. Choose only three big things to focus on at one time—quarterly, weekly, and daily. That's right, just three. Those three things are usually a combination of personal, marriage/family, and work. 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We went to see a movie, ate out, went to Six Flags, had a beach day, and took days in between just to relax. We loved it so much, we're doing a staycation again this year! Write down your list of summer expectations and plans. Now, cross out everything that feels exhausting and unfun. Don't try to fit everything in this summer. Pick a couple of things that feel life-giving and focus on those. Your Move Reflect. Re-evaluate. Rest. Choose one of the three and work on it in the next 24 hours. Plan a day of reflection. Have a conversation with your spouse. Choose how you're going to rest this summer. I don't care which one it is, just take action. Here’s one question to consider: What would you stop doing this summer if no one was watching? Most people think summer is about maximizing experiences and fitting everything in, but the truth is that the most productive leaders use summer to strategically subtract, not add. They understand that rest isn't what you do after the work is done—it's what makes the work sustainable in the first place. You've got this.
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