Some people act as if “desire” is a four-letter word. But most desires in and of themselves are not bad or evil but good pursued outside the proper context, at the wrong time, or in the wrong way.
Food is one example and hunger is a natural desire. Food keeps us alive, is a wonderful source of community and connection, and can be very enjoyable when done right! To eat and enjoy food is a gift. Hunger, I would argue, is a good desire, unless pursued in an unhealthy way by eating more food than we need, consistently eating things that aren’t good for our bodies, or using it to soothe our emotional pain. Then it can also cause significant problems.
When it comes to desires of the heart, how do you discern which desires are good and which ones are not helpful, unfruitful, or just flat-out bad for you? The answer is found in this psalm written by King David. As one who experienced both good and bad as a result of his desires, King David is the perfect test case. Many of David’s good desires came true (see 2 Samuel 12:8) and other desires, practiced in the wrong context, were catastrophic (like committing adultery with Uriah’s wife and then having Uriah killed, see 2 Samuel 11-12). Let us turn to Psalm 37 for David’s insight.
Delight Yourself in the Lord
Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. (Psalm 37:4 ESV)
Does this mean God is going to fulfill your every desire? Or conversely, does it mean He will force His desires upon you so you want what He wants? I don’t think it means either. Notice it says, “Delight yourself in the Lord.” Delight means to take one’s pleasure in the Lord or to be soft and pliable in response to Him. “In the Lord” is self-explanatory. It’s referring to your relationship with Him and His ways.
As you take your pleasure in Him, He will give you the desires of your heart. Let me say it again: He will give you. He will ascribe, bestow, or bring to you the desires of your heart.
Several things happen as you delight yourself in the Lord. First, He places His desires in you and they become yours. But they aren’t foreign desires. They are the desires you were created to fulfill. Second, He fulfills the godly desires you already have inside of you. And third, He aligns your desires with His so that your heart longs for the same things He longs for.
Jesus prayed that we would be one with God even as He and the Father are one (see John 17:22); We in the process of being “conformed into the image of Christ” (see Romans 8:29); and the word Christian, means “little Christ.”
As we find ourselves becoming one with Christ, our desires align with His desires for us bringing joy and fulfillment.
Is Your Heart Wicked?
Many Christians quote this verse when speaking of the heart,
The human heart is the most deceitful of all things, and desperately wicked. Who really knows how bad it is? (Jeremiah 17:9 NLT)
The problem is, this verse of Scripture is set in the context of a passage that is contrasting those who put their trust in the Lord with those who don’t. If you read the rest of the passage, it ascribes wonderful blessings to those who trust in the Lord. Another prophet named Ezekiel said that God would give us a new heart and put a new spirit in us, taking out the old stubborn heart and giving us a tender, responsive heart (see Ezekiel 36:26 NLT). And if you are looking for a parallel passage in the New Testament, look no further than 2 Corinthians 5:17 which states we are “new creations in Christ.”
Is your heart wicked? Yes and no. Before Christ replaces it with a new heart, some of our desires are wicked. But once we receive God’s grace and forgiveness through Christ, we are given a new heart that is responsive to God, and He changes us into new creations in Him. We are no longer slaves to sin. We move from darkness to light, orphans to children, and sinners to saints – all because of what Christ has done on our behalf! Yes, you will still battle your flesh i.e. sinful desires even when you have a new heart, but slowly and surely, as you delight yourself in Him, your heart becomes more and more like His and you will desire sin less and less.
Can You Trust Your Desires?
I find it best to answer a question with a question. The question isn’t can I trust my desires? A better question is am I delighting myself in God? Once that happens, we can move to the discernment process. Is my desire in line with the testimony of Scripture? Is the desire for now or later?
Some people say they don’t trust their desires and therefore they don’t make decisions based on them. Here’s my problem with that. The psalmist says if I’m delighting myself in God, He will grant me the desires of my heart. In other words, if I’m drawing my pleasure from God and I’m responsive to His heart, then my desires are most likely either from Him, in line with His desires, or they are godly desires. On the contrary, you should never trust your fleshly desires, instead, you should crucify them. But don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater by crucifying the good and godly desires with the fleshly ones. All desires are not created equal!
Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. (Gal. 5:24 NIV)
What constitutes a fleshly desire? Fleshly desires are those based on what your sinful nature craves. As I said, wicked desires are often good or natural desires practiced in the wrong context or in a harmful damaging way. Paul the apostle was very specific about fleshly desires. He identified them as, “sexual immorality, impurity, lustful pleasures, idolatry, sorcery, hostility, quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, dissension, division, envy, drunkenness, wild parties, and other sins like these” (Gal. 5:19-21 NLT)
As we grow into Christ’s likeness and delight ourselves in Him, our desires come into alignment with His and we can trust them – so long as they are in line with Biblical truth.
Delight, Define, Discern
Desires aren’t something to despise; they are something to define and discern. When they are godly, you can take them as a sign of His grace and act upon them. Quite honestly, I make better decisions when I follow my desires. So long as I’m abiding and delighting myself in Christ, I’m quite comfortable following my desires.
How do you know if you are delighting yourself in Him? Ask yourself, is my pleasure and delight in God, His word, and my relationship with Him? You probably already know the answer to that question even as you ask it. If not, ask Him to change your heart. Instead of starting with your desires, ask yourself this, what would it look like for me to delight myself in the Lord? Jesus would never ask us to do something (delight yourself in the Lord) without giving us the power to do it!
Once you determine that you are delighting, it’s time to define and discern.
Stepping Out >>
Where is your heart? Is it fully invested in Christ? Are you delighting in God? If so, you are ready to start writing defining your desires. I suggest you write them down. Then you can begin the process of discernment by asking a few simple questions:
- Is this desire a good and godly desire? If you’re not sure, look to Scripture and/or bounce it off some other people who delight in Christ.
- If it is a good and godly desire, do I pursue it now or wait?
- If I have the green light to pursue it now, how do I go about fulfilling it?
Delight in Christ. Define your desires. Discern whether they are good and godly and the timing of them. You can do it.
